Last week I posted about how cold it was here. Really cold. As in below freezing. And windy too. Which, well, it's winter. It's supposed to be. And our Christmas Tree looked right sitting in the family room with the winds howling outside.
Today? It's currently 70 degrees. And somehow that tree just doesn't look like it belongs as much. That, and it's January 7th.
I think it just may be time for me to stop procrastinating and take down the tree.
We are home from the holiday family visit. It was filled with cheer, good times and good ole family psychodrama (because, after all, would we be an American family if we didn't have all 3?). Son did great!!! He really remembered some of his coping strategies and used them.
More details later. Right now, I fall down and go boom. In my own bed :)
Christmas day is over. Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas. I love seeing family and friends. I love eating. But I don't love the extra changes in schedules, the extra transitions, the extra excitement. Or rather I don't like the effect it has on Son.
He's a kid. He gets excited. He gets wound up. He has his highs and lows. But they are EXHAUSTING.
I made a calendar for him using Boardmaker. I LOVE this program. Enough that when I stopped teaching we purchased it so I could still use it for the Son. We've got a lot going on. Having a visual for him of where we are going each day really helps.
And visuals are always easier to process than reading. For anyone (think of when you go to McDonalds - do you read the menu or look at the pictures of the combo's?). And when you're escalated, pictures are easier to process to help deescalate.
When there is change, one of Son's side effects is to not eat. He get extremely picky about smells and textues, despite being on the GFCF diet which has eliminated so many of these issues. And when he doesn't eat, he gets moody and irrational. And crashes. And then it gets taken out on us. I've been trying to feed him his absolute favorites, but sometimes even that fails.
Christmas excitement is a test of patience for both children and adults. I'm ready for that test to be over. But first we are taking a 4 day trip to New England to see my half of the family.
Seriously. My kid just can't handle it. Waiting is too hard for him. Excitement and change is too hard for him. The unknown is too hard for him. He's truly been trying his hardest. Can't we just move Christmas up this year?
He's been in tears for 2 days now. He's miserable. He is too caught up in the excitement. The kids at school are all feeling the excitement. Consequences are being given (gentle, but consequences none-the-less) so that the teachers can try to keep teaching right up to the holiday party on Friday. But my kid is miserable.
He loves the holiday season. Right up to the week before. Then he just can't take it anymore. The focusing, the sensory stimulation, the excitement. He's on overload and he knows it and he's miserable.
OK. I'm done whining now. Y'all can move on to the next blog now.
Holiday season brings out the stress in adults. But it also brings out the stress in children. They just manifest it differently. Son has been handling the holiday activities pretty well this year. But he is more rigid and is stemming more. We're back to written schedules and LOTS of advanced warnings.
Yesterday we went down to see Hubby's grandmother and a good friend of our family. Son did great in the car ride (about 2 hours), the visits, and the ride back. But, we got in late. Real late. And he was really tired this morning. So I let him stay home today. In this county every Monday is an early release day anyways.
He slept in a little. He played some Play Station. I made him (ie: cooked something) breakfast. We did his homework and worked on his science project and a reading project. And he's back to chilling in front of the TV.
Sometimes you just need a day to chill. A day to relax. A day to forget all the craziness of the holiday schedule and excitement.
Ahh, Christmas is really near now. Holiday parties filling up the calendar. Holiday cards to write and send out. Holiday cards beginning to arrive. Lists of gifts to buy for family and friends slowly getting crossed off.
Kids do not have to do any of the organizing and planning. They get to sit back, relax. And get EXCITED. How many times have you said, "Better not do that, Santa is watching you!" Year after year it starts to wear off a little, doesn't it?
When my son was younger, and still believed in the power of magic, not only did he think Santa was watching him, but also Santa's Elf. Why you ask?
Because Santa wrote my son a letter:
Dear (child's name),
I am writing to ask you and your parents to once again host one of my Elves during this Christmas Season. Due to recent budget constraints I have had to reduce the number of Elves assigned to families, but I know that your home would be a good home for any of my Elves.
There are several rules of Elf protocol that I must ask you to follow. Elves are very shy and quiet creatures, and may be easily frightened.
-Please never touch an Elf.
-Even though Elves can hear, they will never talk to you directly. But if you have a question you may write it on a piece of paper and he will answer you in writing. Or you can have your Mommy and Daddy write it down for you.
-Elves like to move around your house. They may move several times a day or just once a week. -Elves do not like to hear: whining, fussing, fighting, complaining, or teasing.
-Elves to like to hear: please, thank you, I love you, can I help? and I am sorry.
-Each Elf has several names. Your family can decide what to call the Elf assigned to your home.
-Our Elves have developed a new piece of magic. Each Elf now has the ability to turn back to a toy state upon sensing a human in the vicinity. This may mean that you may occasionally find your Elf on the floor or some other odd place at times. Do not panic! This just means that your Elf was working and, when it sensed your arrival, dropped into the toy state of being again. Simply get and adults to move the Elf to a safe spot and go about your business.
Please take good care of your Elf. Remember, your Elf will be leaving a day or two before Christmas. The Elf will then report back to me on who has been naughty and who has been nice.
I look forward to visiting you on Christmas Eve. In the mean time, please be good and be on the lookout for the arrival of your guest!
Love, Santa
Now, of course - you control the Elf. You put him around the house. You write answers back to your child.
Son LOVED having Red (what he named ours) visit. He would write letters to him. He would talk to him. He would tell him the good choices he was doing. And, we used it as total leverage to get unwanted activities accomplished the month of December(who said bribery doesn't work?!?).
Throughout the year, we'd occasionally bring Red up in conversation. Remember when Red saw you clean up after I asked you too? I wonder if Red can see you know? I wonder if Santa will let him come back next year?
Our son actually stopped believing in Santa, but then he knew that would mean Red also didn't exist. But he hadn't quite figured out that his parents were also Red. So, it made him wonder if Santa was real a little longer too.
Now that he knows Santa and Red were all the works of his parents, we still have Red. Son will gently move him around the house and tell him about his good choices. He knows it's just a stuffed toy elf, but there's still a touch of magic. Because, that's part of what Christmas is all about after all.
Cross posted to DCMetroMoms.
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