When Divorce Hits Home

I'm over at DC Metro Mom's talking about divorce.
Whether a celebrity, a friend, or a family member, divorce is sad.

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Moms and Food

Thanks to Devra and Sarah, the DC Metro Moms enjoyed a lovely night out at The Good Stuff Eatery. Eating. Talking. Meeting Spike from Top Chef.

This blogging thing brought us all together. We are all moms. We all come from different walks of life, have different opinions, are parenting children of many different ages and needs, yet this doesn't put up dividers in our ability to be friends. Because we are all Moms. The sisterhood of moms.

And as we approach Mother's Day, what a better way to celebrate than to recognize the sisterhood of moms.

Quaker kindly sponsored our evening, But more importantly also made a donation to the Capital Area Food Bank (which Devra, Sarah, and Spike are also involved in). The Food Bank is always in need of donations. With the economy in the state it is, people are turning to community services and public assistance and more than ever.

I remember as an elementary and middle school child going with my Mom into New Haven to help serve dinners to homeless Moms and their children. My Mom always reminded me that it wouldn't take much for us to be on the other side of the serving table. I could easily be that child never knowing where my next meal would be.

That message that it doesn't take much to be on the other side has always stayed with me. And despite having a job and some money saved up, I know that it wouldn't take too many series of unfortunate events to end up there. And as a mother, struggling to feed her child, I would be grateful to companies like Quaker who are taking a role in helping those in need.

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What Really Matters In Life?

This one is for Maddie, Thalon and their families. Remember what really matters in life.

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Talking about Snow Days

over here at DC Metro Moms today. Come join me!

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Psst

I'm over here today, pondering New Years Resolutions.

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Going Away, or not, or maybe?

I've got another post up over at DC Metro Moms.

Update: my new niece is doing wonderful as is Mom, Dad and Big Sis. It's been a FUN but busy week helping to take care of the Big Sis and help out my sis too. Folks are coming down tomorrow, so Hubby and my weekend getaway is now a maybe. Since I had already cancelled our plans I have to see if I can reschedule them. And if so - we're OFF!!!!

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To Clean Or Not To Clean - That Is The Question

One reason why it's been easy to read around here is because all I have to do is plop myself down on the couch. It's a lot safer and less aggravating than this.

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pssst

Besides being over at MotherTalk talking about the Dangerous Days of Daniel X, I'm also over at DCMetroMoms venting about drivers who don't slow down.

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Pssst

I'm pondering life over here today.....

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Haiku Friday / Love You Forever

Summer time is here

Another school year is now gone

Son's a year older.

Come head over here

I've got a post about it

Hope you enjoy it!

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Walking

This past Saturday I braved the heat with some of my fellow DCMetroMom friends for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. By brave the heat I mean there was a 100+heat index that day, and although the walk started at 8:15, the heat and humidity had long since set in over the city.

But ya know what? It's OK. So I sweated for a morning. That's nothing compared to what survivors and those honored and their families have gone through. It really hit me, walking that morning - seeing those with survivor shirts on. Seeing those carrying signs in memory of loved ones.

And, of course, it always help to walk with friends. Thanks to Andrea, Devra, Leticia, Stimey, Linda, MamaBird, Julie, Sandie, Jessica, Jodi, Nancy and Jess for the great conversation. And also thanks to Kristen for providing our own t-shirts - boy did they help in keeping track of us in the crowd! Thanks for Jess for coordinating us. And wow was eating at Hawk and Dove a great idea - thank to Jess, where we ran into Sarah who was walking with her family. We missed Susan, Suzie and Mary who did the sleepover though! I can't think of a better group of friends to do some good for women with :)

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I'm Over Here Today

Head over to DC Metro Moms where I'm posting about my surprise at what one can get out of watching cartoons!

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Martial Arts Saturday

On Saturday, from 8am till 7pm it was all about martial arts.

My Son and Husband are black belts and on Saturday they competed (and hubby judged) at the

Super Challenge 2008 Tournament. Son picked up two more trophy's to add to his collection (1st in sparring, 2nd in musical forms), and Hubby also picked up 2 more trophy's to add to his collection.

About mid afternoon we left to continue our martial arts themed day.

After waiting entirely too long for a metro train, we finally made it downtown to the Kung Fu Panda event, sponsored by Kung Fu Panda and Hewlett-Packard at the Zola Restaurant/International Spy Museum.

Now, I've never been to an event promoting a movie, so I really had no expectations. So, it was probably easy to impress me, but, really, I think the folks coordinating all this did a great job. The first room we walked into had food. Lots.of.food. Different tables with different themes, pasta, meat carving, desserts. Then, after going up a couple of stairs you were in the activity area. Face/hand painting, play do, origami, dancing, arts and crafts, snacks, picture taking with the panda (with an extremely easy to use and cool picture printer), and my son's favorite - the video game. I really liked how there were activities for all kids ages. The set up made it easy to mingle and still keep an eye out on my son. (which, really, put him in front of a video game and chances are pretty nil that he's going to move away from it).

I had plenty of time to chat with my friends from DC Metro Moms, got to meet some new Moms, some husbands and kids. I think my hubby had a decent time too! I know my Son did.

At closing time, we left, headed home and crashed for the night.

PS - the video game in the gift bag has done wonders in the bribery department - thanks!

PSS - we can't wait to see the movie this weekend!

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Sex

And all the stuff that one can talk about is being talked about over at DC Metro Moms and the sister sites.

Come see what I said when my son asked me what a condom was!

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What I'm Pondering About

is over at DC Metro Mom's today.
What's your thoughts on it?

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This Way and That Way

Head this way for a review of an absolutely wonderful children's book I had an opportunity to review for MotherTalk.
And head that way for a post I put up on DC Metro Moms (we can no longer cross-post directly).

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Guilty of Guilt

Today, the bloggers at Silicon Valley Moms, Chicago Moms, New York Moms, and DC Metro Moms Blog are sharing stories about our personal parenting guilt.

Although not unique and certainly shared by several others, I thought I'd share the guilt I have experienced while being a parent.

Mine started right away. About a week after I took that test to confirm I was pregnant.



I'm guilty of hating being pregnant. And it tore me up. How could I hate it? I so desperately wanted this child as did my husband. I was creating a life and I was miserable. And I should have been overjoyed and excited.

My acne flared up to outrageous levels all over my face, chest and back. I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I didn't have the glowing pregnant skin to make me feel beautiful as I created life.

Then the morning sickness began about a week after the pregnancy test. And continued. And continued. E.V.E.R.Y freaking day until 5 weeks before Son's due date. Then it finally started dissipating. Some mornings I didn't make that all so familiar dash to the toilet.

After being dilated 4cm for approximately 3 weeks Son turned breech. He ended up being a planned C-section. After confirming he was breech and realizing I wouldn't get to experience natural birth I said to the doctor, well, fine; since it's a scheduled C, and my due date is in 4 days, let's get him out. But no. My primary doctor was on vacation for a week. And out of respect for HER they would let her do the surgery. But, should I go into labor I was to get to the ER immediately as it would be an emergency c-sec. My last shot at enjoying pregnancy by having that perfect natural birth was gone.

Now, I realize there are WAY more difficult and traumatic pregnancy and birth stories out there. This wasn't meant to come across as whining and complaining. I knew it wasn't all going to be easy and comfortable. But I do feel guilty that I did not enjoy my pregnancy, and not only didn't enjoy it, absolutely hated it. The guilt is still here 9 years after that I did not enjoy being pregnant.

Little did I know that was the first of many parenting guilts.

Parenting guilt also hit big time last year. As a teacher there is a common misconception that teachers have bunches of time off - home early, week at Christmas and Easter, summers off. It sure was a huge lure to me for balancing work and family successfully.

But in reality, a teachers job does not end at 3pm. I spent on average 15 additional hours in the evenings and weekend making tasks for my students, creating lesson plans and activities and completing paperwork.

My husband would come home from his 40 hour a week job and be done. I was never able to do that.

Slowly, that guilt about working so much and juggling that work/family/home life/housework got to me. So much, that last year my PTA hosted Devra to talk about Mommy Guilt at one of our meetings. (This was before I knew Devra too - this may be a big county, but it's still a small world in the end). I wanted to go. I knew I needed to go. But I didn't. I had already spent so much outside-of-work-hours working in the past few weeks that I just couldn't go out in the evening and not spend time from my son one.more.time. So I didn't go.

However, realizing that I had hit a new level of Mommy Guilt and had also not been happy teaching for a few years my husband and I sat down to evaluate our lives.

In the end we decided that working as much as I did wasn't worth it if I was miserable and it was taking that much time away from being a family. We used the remainder of the school year to put away some money. I took this year off to see if I could find something part-time, if it would work financially and find a better balance. We knew we could do it for a year and would revisit the topic after a year.

Well, it's been a year. Financially it's been OK. I've found a part-time job during school hours. I've taken a huge pay cut. We've learned to make several cutbacks and done without. But that's OK. The positives have been incredible! I"m more relaxed. My husband is more relaxed. And our son is thriving. He loves having both his parents available to him once work is done. He loves not having to camp out in my classroom before and after school. There is more time to do housework. There is more time to read with my son and snuggle with him. There is more time to read and take up hobbies. There is more time to, um, blog. And there is more energy for, um, after Son is asleep activities.

We've decided that for us, we aren't going to try to keep up with the Jones anymore. We're downsizing and cutting back. But, we have found a balance of juggling work and family. We have said goodbye to parenting guilt.

**End note - after meeting Devra through DC Metro Moms and sharing with her how I did not attend her Mommy Guilt talk at my school because I was feeling too guilty about time spend away from my Son she convinced me to read her book. I"m glad I did! I had already started making changes to rid that guilt, but her and Avivia's book put the icing on the cake for me.

Original DC Metro Moms Post, also crossposted to MyLifeAsItIs.

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Mommy Needs A Cocktail Party

This past weekend I got to go out. And without my hubby and son. I got to go to a Girls-Night-Out Event! And, let me tell you, it was FUN!!! The event was hosted by Petroville (go check out the pics!), who was so gracious to open her house to, oh, about 45 women for the evening. The star of the show was Kristen. You NEED to go check out her shirts!! I picked up one to go with my growing collection. Oh, and did I mention the chocolate fountain?

To be honest, I was a little nervous going. I've only met some of the people there once. I'm a shy person. My sister was going to go with me originally. But she cancelled last minute. So I decided to brave it alone. I'm glad I did. I truly had a great time chatting with other DC Metro Mom writers. It's strange. Some have known each other longer than others and for some it was our first face to face meeting, but it didn't feel that way because we read each others blogs. We already knew eachother. It made me realize how much I truly enjoy blogging and meeting people. We drank. We ate. (Did I mention the chocolate fountain?). We talked. We shopped. Repeat several times. It was a fun night.

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Wordless Wednesday

I got my sticker.
Check out others!

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Britney Spears and Politics

I know. I know. Everyone is getting tired of hearing about Britney Spear's issues.

So, I'm not actually going to talk about HER issues.

I am going to talk about the issue itself. I think it's safe to assume that she is experiencing some kind of mental illness or mental issue that appears to be preventing her from leading a typically normal life as a person and mother, family member and friend.

In a way I am glad the media is covering the issue. But they aren't covering it the way I'd actually like to see.



I'd like to see the media talk about mental illnesses themselves. I'd like to see the media bring attention to how hard it is to treat mental illness. And it's hard on for so many different reasons.

Access/wait lists for doctors are too long.

State budges aren't enough to assist in treatment options.

Not everyone has health insurance to cover the cost of medication and therapy.

If you are an adult, it becomes really hard to force you to seek treatment.

Not to compare Brittany to what happened at VA Tech last spring, but the truth is, if you are over 18, it becomes a lot harder to force treatment on you. There are confidentiality rules that prevent family members, friends, companies and schools from knowing you may even need the help.

Brittany appears to have the money to seek treatment and help, but it appears she won't, or is at least showing resistance to it. She also appears to have loving parents that want to support her, despite the frustration they must be experiencing, and the sadness of watching their child struggle privately and publicly.

But, like many with a mental illness, it's not her that is showing resistance.

It's the mental illness itself. And, in this country, mental illness too often wins and slowly engulfs it's victim. There are many victims: the person himself, his family and his friends. Mental illness effects many people in many different ways.

And like her, there are soooo many more out there suffering.

I'd like to know what all of the presidential candidates REALLY feel should be done with the mental illness system we have in America.

**please note, I am not diagnosing Britney Spears as having a mental illness, all statements regarding her are my interpretation of media reports.

Cross posted over at DCMetroMoms where I am a contributing writer.

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