How Many Maps Can Fit On One Fridge?

I don't remember ever needing to know this. Or even wanting to know this. However, it seems I just might find out. Because over the past week they have been showing up on my fridge.

One morning last week I found this on our fridge:

It's a map of Adam's school. I asked him why it was there. He replied, "In case I get lost at school." Never mind the fact it's the end of the first quarter and he knows his way around the school now. Never mind the fact it won't do him any good on the fridge if he gets lost, you now, at school.

Then a few days later while getting something out to cook for dinner I saw this:

I made the mistake of asking Adam why a second map of his school was on the fridge. I got glared at. Then I saw his back walking away. Notice his choice of magnet to hold up the second map 'Stupid should be painful'. I'm wondering if this was a clue for me.

And this morning:

There is the addition of a map of North America. I took a chance and asked Adam why a third map was on the fridge. I'm glad I did. I got an answer this time. "Because" was mumbled as I saw his back walk away yet again.

Any guesses what will show up next?

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Dinner with NO Sitters

Yup - you heard it. We don't need sitters anymore. It's really official now.

Our child, who couldn't name the peers he sat next to in 2nd grade...
Our child, who would throw 2-3 hour tantrums at the slightest change in routine....
Our child, who would spin, and spin, and spin nonstop rather than engage in age typical activities.....

Our child who has worked soo very hard....

Our child who has learned to be flexible....
Our child who loves when his friends come over to play....
Our child who is always finding kids at the pool to play with....
Our child who can modulate his own sensory needs....

Stays home alone now.
We've been leaving him alone for short stints and slowly increasing it over the past year (he's old enough we could have been leaving him home alone for hours at a time last year).

Tonight, for our anniversary Hubby and I went out to dinner. And we didn't need a sitter.

Sometimes dreams do come true.
Sometimes the nightmares begin to slow down.
Sometimes it's really safe to dream some more.

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Does Anyone Else Have This Issue?

I've got bangs.

Problem is when I have them, I don't want them. I start to think I look better without them. They require more maintance - especially since I have a cowlick just in the center of my forehead (thank goodness for straightening irons!).

So I grow them out. And then I don't have them.

But then I think I look better with bangs. So I get my hair cut and get bangs back.

And about 4 months later I think, 'No, I looked better without bangs. I should grow them out.'

Rinse, Lather, Repeat....

Am I the only one with this issue?

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The Spectrum of Happiness

The other day I came across this article defining in the best possible way what happiness is.

Sadly a few days later, this made news.

Just as with autism, there is a spectrum in how parents of special needs children are able to raise their children with happiness for who their child is.

I only wish Ms. Akhter could have seen Ms. Lawler's post. Or that the social services that were involved with Ms. Akhter had more resources, budget and time to help her.

Every parent should be able to find happiness with their children. There should be no Spectrum of Happiness when it comes to parenting. There should only be one spot - Happiness.

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Reading vs. Educational TV

Here's a question for you all:

If my son is just not in the mood to read, is it OK for him to watch educational TV (History Channel, National Geographic Channel) instead?

The other day I told him to go watch something educational. I must have been completely out of my mind. But I was in the middle of something I couldn't stop and he was bored out of his mind. But then I got to thinking:

• Well, obviously it's better than playing video games.
• He's learning
• He's visual - so he might even remember it better
• He's learning something he may not be willing to read
• Isn't some of the point of reading to learn about a topic of interest?

A week ago he was flipping thru the channels at bedtime and came across a special on Hitler. WWII has been slowly becoming an interest of his. He knows he'll be studying it this year at school. And earlier in the month we watched the movie "A Diary of Anne Frank". Earlier in the spring we watched "The Boy in Stripped Pajama's". He's asked questions about that particular time period since then. He wanted to stay up and watch the special. So we let him - he watched that one, and the Part II afterwards. And then talked about it quite a bit.

And not that he'll be allowed to watch educational TV vs reading, and I'm certainly not saying his education should come primarily from video, but, what's the value of watching a special on some aspect of history or science vs reading? And if that captures his interest even more and then he wants to read up further, isn't that better than saying go read for 20 minutes because the schools say you should?

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Even Good Transitions Are Rough

Remember last week when I mentioned that hubby had recently come home from an out of the country trip and to use your imagination on why I hadn't posted? You were all thinking wine, food, rest, relaxation kind of busy, weren't ya? Get your heads out of the gutters you silly readers!

We were busy transitioning Adam to having Dad back. For 6 weeks (and then a week before that he was also gone for a week) I had been so busy getting him ready for life without Dad.

We made a calendar to mark down the days until his return, but also highlighting activities I had planned to keep us busy. That was put on our fridge to see daily.

We had talks about what routines would be the same, and how Dad being gone would affect other routines.

Adam and Dad picked out stuffed animals – a big and little penguin. Dad took Adam's Little Penguin with him and took pictures of him throughout his trip. This allowed Adam to see where Dad slept, worked, and other places he came across on his journey. Adam took care of Big Penguin and we took pictures of our adventures to share with Dad about what we were up too. This allowed them a conversation starter when they were able to Google Talk each other. Instead of 'what did you do today Adam?' and having the standard 'nothing' reply, Dad was able to say 'I saw the picture of Big Penguin – tell me about your outing'.

Adam and Big Penguin excavating gems.

I made sure to keep things consistent. His teacher and principal knew Dad was Out Of The Country and kept an extra eye on him as well.

And for 6 weeks all was Going Well. Any issues we had were issues we would have had if Dad was here too. I was actually very surprised by how easy it was!

And we got SOOO excited the closer to the day Dad came home.

But I forgot to get him ready for it. It was a happy moment. It was a joyous moment. And within an hour of Dad's return it was meltdown after meltdown after meltdown. For about 4 days. I kicked myself big time. How could I have forgotten that with Autism Spectrum transitions – the rough ones as well as the GOOD ones – were difficult?!?

So, yea. We were busy. Busy dealing with a happy transition that came back to bite me. But no worries. Seems we'll get to practice this long trip thing again. And you'd better believe I'll be getting ready for the transition of Dad leaving AND Dad returning this time.

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A Letter of Thanks

I'm sharing with you all a letter of thanks to my son's school. He just finished elementary school and will be heading off the world of middle school in September. Because I taught at that school (beginning when Adam was in 3rd grade) he was pupil placed there. When I left, his principal allowed him to remain there so he would not have to switch school. This school also feeds into his base middle school, so the friends he met would be continuing on with him also.

I wrote this letter, because I think all too often schools (administrators and teachers) don't get even close to the credit they deserve. Yea - just as in every profession, there are definitely some schools that could use some room for improvement. But there are also lots of schools that are doing amazing jobs with our kids. And they don't get thanked enough. Because Adam's principal allowed him to stay, and because of the wonderful job they did with him I felt they definitely deserved a special thank you. It is because of teams like Adam had, that he was able to get where he is today developmentally. (Names, of course, have been changed)

Dear Dr. Principle and Ms. Assistant Principle,

We are writing this to thank you for allowing Adam to be pupil placed at Best Elementary School for the past four years. Our entire family has completely enjoyed our experience here.

When Adam began 3rd grade at Best Elementary School he didn't have the most positive attitude towards school. After his first day Dad and I could see it turning in a different direction. When asked how his day went he exclaimed, "Mom, Dad, I'm gonna have to listen! At this school when the teacher asks a question she doesn't need to repeat it because everyone was listening. So someone answers and she moves on! Which means I won't be bored anymore! Which means maybe I won't get into mischief anymore!"

At some point in September of 3rd grade he also put away his car carpet (a small floor carpet that has roads and buildings printed on it to drive Matchbox cars on). You see, all through 2nd grade he had this carpet out in a quiet area of the house. The roads were jam packed with Matchbox cars lined up in traffic jams. Most days after school he would go to the carpet and re-arrange the traffic jams. While doing so he would be quietly mumbling to himself, but stop whenever someone entered the room. Dad and I had always thought this was another display of his Aspergers Syndrome - a fixation and perseverate play. Sometimes he would be there for 10 minutes, sometimes up to an hour. Of course, we would always guide him away and back into 'our world', but it was clear this was part of his routine - this need to re-arrange the traffic jams and line cars up just so on the roads.

We asked him why he put it away. His answer completely took us by surprise. He said, "Because the traffic jams in my life are gone finally." Upon further questioning he shared with us that each road represented a different part of his day - morning work, math, reading, lunch, specials, home, etc. Depending on how each part of the day went depended on how much of a traffic jam there was in the afternoon. Some cars were even associated with specific people. The more he perceived them as irritating him, the more they were towards the front of the traffic jam line. The days there were crashes were the days he was sent to the Principal's office, severely reprimanded by his teacher or had a major conflict with a peer.

The car carpet has not been taken out since then! And while he did not think every day was perfect, he did believe that the staff truly was invested in his learning and teaching him to be a better person, as well as also learn to realize his role in conflicts and how to solve and prevent them.

The classroom teacher he has had all 4 years have all gone above and beyond their call of duty.

It is because of them that he has truly improved in his ability to relate and interact with his peers. As parents we can tell him what he should, could and should do in different situations. But we can't provide 25 children for him to practice these skills with. Dad and I really did not think he'd be where he is socially at this age. His growth in wanting to interact and actually doing it successfully, learning to navigate ht nonverbal world, and maintaining friendships has been a joy to watch develop. To have neighborhood kids knocking on our door, to have sleepovers, to be able to spontaneously play Marco Polo at the pool with children he just met...these are all activities he did not engage in before.

It is because of them that he enjoys being at school and learning and challenging himself.

It is because of them that he is prepared to go to middle school both academically and socially.

All his classroom teachers have been wonderful at keeping the lines of communication open with us as parents. Sharing funny stories as well as areas that he was having difficulty with so that we could all work as a team with Adam to help. All his teachers were always flexible to try accommodations and modifications so that Adam could fully participate in activities.

We would like to thank all the staff at Best School:
Mrs. 3rd Grade teacher, Mrs. 4th grade teacher, Ms. 5th grade teacher, Mrs. 6th grade teacher, Mrs. 5th grade teacher, Ms. Guidance Counselor, Mrs. Guidance Counselor, Mr. PE teacher, Mrs. PE Teacher, Mrs. Library Teacher, Mrs. Art Teacher, Mr. Art Teacher, Mrs. Nurse, Mr. Band Teacher, Mrs. Music Teacher, Mrs. Music Teacher, Administration, Office and Custodial Staff and the rest of the Best Elementary School Staff for all they have given Adam.

We will miss Best Elementary School. This school will always have a special place in our memories,

Thank you,
Adam's Mom and Dad

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Doll Houses Aren't Just for Dolls

See this doll house? Adam and I got it from Michael's. We spent A Long Time putting it together, gluing it and painting it. You might be wondering why the blue, gray and black color theme. You may be wondering why a just-about-12-year-old-boy wanted a doll house.


For his Lego's of course!!

New post up at PuttingTogetherPuzzlePieces.

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To Summer Camp Or Not

The question of the week has been do I send Adam to summer camp or not? Apparently I'm not alone in this delima as I come across this topic as I've been reading my blog feeder the past few weeks.

So, I'm gonna do the classic Pros and Cons list.

Pros:
-Northern VA offers camps on an amazing amount of topics-sports academics, enrichment-you name it, there is a camp for it
-We can afford it
-Opportunity to practice social skills
-Opportunity to learn something
-To keep Adam busy

Cons:
-Camps are all over the county, and with traffic I could very well spend 1-3 hours a day transporting him to and from camp
-He's unlikely to interact with the kids from camp afterwards-chances of them in his school, or nearby are actually not that big depending where oh the county the camp is.
-I could use the money spent on camp on trips to museums and water parks
-He can practice social Skills with kids in neighborhood who he has relationships with already
-If counselors don't have training/experience with Aspergers it could be miserable for Adam (and others around him)

I think the decision is actually not that hard. Each year I pour through web sites for summer camps and then decide the cons outweigh the pros. Afterall, isn't summer supposed to be about sleeping in, relaxing, learning in your own backyard, swimming at the neighborhood pool, impromptu play dates in the neighborhood, extra screen time, reading books because you WANT to, not because you were ASSIGNED to and exploring hobbies and interests on your own?

Yea. I think we'll do that again this summer along with some day trips into the city.

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Where have you been? Far far away. How far? Far

Far, far away.

So far, I even forgot my password to this blog and had to try several before I was able to sign back in.


So far away you'd think I had a lot to say on what I've been up to.

But, not really. I've been sleeping. Literally. And in pain. Lots of it. Enough that since mid-Feb I've been on medical leave, and my doctor just extended it till the end of the school year. My chronic fatigue syndrome flared up. Along with some other symptoms that just didn't go with typical CFS flareups. I now have Fibromyalgia tacked onto medical file. Oh, and lets not forget the Orthostatic Impairment.

So, yea, I've literally been sleeping. And in pain. And fighting fevers.

But today I have a new drug. One that I am every so hopeful will give me some energy and endurance so that I can crawl out of being far, far away.

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Do You Know The Story About The Boy Who Cried Wolf?

I'm beginning to feel like that boy.
I'm busy, but I'll post. But then no post.
I'm still busy, but I'll post. But then no post.

But, I really am busy. Busy enjoying life as it is. And it's different from last year.

Working full time is kicking my butt. Teaching the Adapted TKD is kicking my butt. Being on my son's school PTA Board is kicking my butt. But I love it all.

And why, if all this is kicking my butt did I find myself checking out the PhD programs at GMU and UMD again, for the umpteenth time? Especially when I post on Facebook that there is just not enough time and where does it go?

In other news, hubby and I had 2 new firsts for us.
Adam's teacher conference - NO ISSUES!! Well, spelling and grammar are weak, but that's what spell and grammar check are for as far as I'm concerned. No behavior issues, no social issues. Grades are at an all time high since kindergarten and 1st grade. The few times he didn't have his homework he went on his own to her and told her so and then told her she could expect it the next day. If it gets loud in the room or he's being easily distracted he asks to finish his work in the hallway. She says she sees NO Aspie stuff at all (ADHD yes, but no spectrum).

And

His annual at the pediatrician - no issues to talk. Just a refill for the low dose of meds he is on and a check of tummy, throat, etc. Shortest nicest visit ever.

All this only confirms his ADOS testing in the spring where he tested off the spectrum. Is he really 'recovered'? Or are we just in a really, really good spot thanks to tons of behavioral interventions and 2 parents working together?

But, regardless, I'm just really enjoying life right now. And this new 'phase' Adam has been in. Such a different, but at the same time the same child he's always been.

Next post I'll be sharing how we're entering the world of GIRLS (or rather, how Adam is).
Just hopefully, I won't keep you in suspense very long!

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Waving a Small Hand Hello (again)....

Umm. Hello out there (waves hand). If there is anyone out there still....

I'm still here, although I know it's hard to believe with all this lack of posting. But it's a good lack of posting. Not a too-much-to-say, lost-at-words, stuff-I-can't/shouldn't-write-about lack of posting. It's more like a I'm-busier-than-ever, but it's all-OK-busy.

• Loving my job - which I knew I would as I subbed this position 3/4 time last school year. Switching to full time has been everything I expected - loving the challenge and hating trying to find that right balance.
• I'm on the PTA Board at Adam's school. One of my (main) duties is writing the monthly newsletter. Which doesn't sound like a difficult job, but wow is it way more time consuming than I thought it would be! It doesn't help that our newsletter has won the state's PTA newsletter award a few times in the past few years, so I've got big shoes to fill.
• The Adapted Tae Kwon Do program is going strong. Really strong. And we continue to have students transition successfully into the regular TKD program too. It's been so incredible to see so many kids with disabilities succeed at TKD, the joy on the parents faces, and the reaction from the other parents and students at TKD that yes, even if you have a disability, you can participate and have fun and make progress in a sport. So much appreciation to our Master for letting us try this program a year and a half ago!
• Missed the cut-off for the BCBA exam by one day and also 80 hours (I need 1500 hours of supervision). So I'll be waiting till March. But I'll have more time to study too (in theory at least!).
• Adam is starting the year off flying to the moon. He (for the most part) has finally learned that if he takes a 10 minute break after getting home, then does his homework and focus on it then wow, hey, there is time to play!!!! before dinner and bed!!!! As opposed to arguing about said homework for 2 hours, still having to do it, dinner and bed. He usually has ONE math worksheet on Fridays - a whooping 20 minutes, but since it's Friday, he hasn't made the connection that the same principal applies on this day too. Always a work in progress. His teacher is amazing and has had many positive things to say about him (which, unfortunately we aren't always used to due to his weaknesses taking front and center stage so often). I could really get used to this (as I find some wood to knock on)!
• And speaking of math - he's in the GT (gifted and talented) Center, which I knew meant math was one grade level above the actual grade he is in. But what I didn't know was that 6th graders learn 7th AND 8th grade math so that if they do well they go to Algebra I in 7th grade. My little 11 year old is learning Pre-Algebra!! And he's loving it! I think it fits his black and white mind so well. He's been hanging his tests on the fridge after each unit.

So, overall, life is pretty damn good right now. And instead of blogging about it, I've just been enjoying it. But I should be back soon. That balance between working full time and everything else has got a light at the end of the tunnel, and I think its the sun, not a train heading towards me.

To keep you busy in the meantime, though, head over to Every Day I Write the Book. I just finished reading the October EDIWTB book club selection - Cost by Roxana Robinson - a definite must to put on your to-read-list!

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On Monday

I start my new job. After several interviews with no offers, teachers reporting back to work, and kids going back to school, I finally got an offer.

The best part - it's a position that I did last year but now I'm contracted. A position I absolutely loved. A position that uses everything I learned in the ABA/BCBA coursework from the past 2 years.

Summer may be over, but I'm not sad. I'm excited to start this new adventure :)

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The End Of Summer

I haven't been around much this summer.

At least here on this blog.

But maybe in real life too.

It's been a long summer. Happy, stressed, frustrating, upsetting, relaxing, learning, and hopeful times.

I think I'll be ready to start writing again soon.

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Obligatory Pre-Blogher Post

Around the blogosphere are lots of posts about getting ready to go to Blogher. So I suppose I should do one too.

Except I'm not going. No particular reason. Just not going.

So - you all have fun, share stories, and have a few drinks for me. OK?

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I'm Right Here, You're Right Here

Right where we both belong. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Bumps in the road? Yup. Who doesn't? Do we flatten those bumps out? Yup. Are some bumps bigger than others? Yup. Sometimes the bumps pile up faster and faster, but we always flatten them somehow.

Last night we were sitting in a restaurant. I was talking about yet another friend who is getting a divorce. Adam commented that it seems like a new trend. What with both is aunts leaving their husbands this year and some other friends of ours splitting. You answered that you had no desire to join that trend. I immediately agreed. Adam smiled.

Marriage is work. But that doesn't mean it's not enjoyable. Somehow the concept of work brings negative thoughts. But you love your job - it's work, but you love it. Same here. And our marriage, our family? It's a job. It's work. But we love what we have built. We love what we have.

I'm right here, you're right here. Right where we both belong. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

This post has been inspired by Michael Miller's book What Happened to the Girl I Married? the July book club for the SV Moms Group. Michael writes about staying at home to learn what it's like for his wife. And by doing so, falls in love all over again with his wife and finds out what happened to the girl he married, as well as what happened to the husband he became.

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What's In A Name?

Three years ago we put Adam in a Mad Science Camp. He loves science. He need Help with his social skills. So, I thought, putting him in a camp where he had a huge interest in the topic might help him converse easier with the other kids. He went for 2 weeks. He loved it. He talked about the science experiments. He talked about the science topics. He never talked about the other kids. Unless it was because he escorted them to the bathroom or to get a drink of water. (The counselors allowed him this special privilege because he was also known as the 'Police Officer' and 'Mini-Bill Gates' - who better a kid to make sure they got back?)

On the last day of camp we said goodbye to the counselors and the other kids. Most of them all said, "Bye Adam." He just said, "Bye."

When we got to the car he asked me how they all knew his name. He was truly surprised that they had known it. I said, "Adam, you just spent 2 weeks with them. Don't you know their names?" He looked confused. "Why would I? I was there to do science."

The past 2 years he has made tremendous progress. We decided to give camp another try this summer. This time we enrolled him in TechAdventure Camp. Another topic of interest, hoping it would be easier to converse with the other kids, and that with the improved social skills he WOULD converse with the other kids.

I picked him up yesterday - the first day of camp.

"So, how was it?" I asked.

"We all got pedometers. And in photo shop they took pictures of us and we played around with them with some picture program. And during break I made a new friend. His name is Aiden. And he's in the same grade as me. And he's going to the same middle school as me in 2 years!" he said with a smile.

Today they shot elastics at each other during lunch. And he met a couple more kids.

What's in a name? So much.

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Delurking?

Hi all!
Just delurking to say hi.
Can the writer of her own blog technically delurk?

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What I love about bedtime

is that my just-about-done-with-5th-grade son still comes downstairs after he's brushed his teeth and insists that I come up and tuck him into bed.

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And This Time I Mean It

Really. I really mean it this time.

This time I am going to exercise and eat better and stick with it.
I mean, seriously. Twenty - thirty minutes a day. Slightly smaller amounts of food at meals. Fruits for snacking.
How hard can it be? It's not.
And it works. I've seen the results.
And I like the results. I like how I look. How I feel. The increase energy. The happier moods.

But life. It gets in the way. Food is yummy. Sitting around is easy.

But then I gain back the weight I lose. I start not liking how I look. I start not liking how I feel.

But this time I am serious. This time I mean it. This time I am going to start up again and stick with it.

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