Friday, July 17, 2009

I'm Right Here, You're Right Here

Right where we both belong. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Bumps in the road? Yup. Who doesn't? Do we flatten those bumps out? Yup. Are some bumps bigger than others? Yup. Sometimes the bumps pile up faster and faster, but we always flatten them somehow.

Last night we were sitting in a restaurant. I was talking about yet another friend who is getting a divorce. Adam commented that it seems like a new trend. What with both is aunts leaving their husbands this year and some other friends of ours splitting. You answered that you had no desire to join that trend. I immediately agreed. Adam smiled.

Marriage is work. But that doesn't mean it's not enjoyable. Somehow the concept of work brings negative thoughts. But you love your job - it's work, but you love it. Same here. And our marriage, our family? It's a job. It's work. But we love what we have built. We love what we have.

I'm right here, you're right here. Right where we both belong. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

This post has been inspired by Michael Miller's book What Happened to the Girl I Married? the July book club for the SV Moms Group. Michael writes about staying at home to learn what it's like for his wife. And by doing so, falls in love all over again with his wife and finds out what happened to the girl he married, as well as what happened to the husband he became.

6 comments:

Silicon Valley Diva said...

So true, marriage is work! Recently we have noticed a divorce trend with some of our friends also. Very sad and a good wake up call.

Linsey K / Krolik Legal said...

Definitely. It is not easy - marriage with kids. Constantly work!

melanie said...

we had a little bump in our marriage earlier in the year. divorce didn't seem so bad. but our marriage is better than ever since we didn't let it be an option. thanks for the reminder...

Julie said...

I just commented elsewhere that even a year into our marriage I realized it to be a "job." A real job. And thought that that job on top of my own job (then a teacher) was more than enough. If I had only known then that the job of parenting would be 100x more of a job than anything else.

Teresa said...

I think divorce has just become too easy an option...yes there are times where it's warranted, but in other cases I believe it was just an easy way out. No one ever said marriage was easy and wouldn't you worry if it was? It is a job, and something I've thought of quitting from time to time, but why? My husband and I aren't quitters and we're both stubborn enough to work at it. It is a life long learning experience.

Michael Miller said...

Robin, thanks for taking the time to read the book. Linda and I are going on 20 years soon, and we see lots of couples our age going through separations and divorce. It's one of the main reasons I pursued publishing the book.

I was invited to speak and do a reading a few months ago to a group of high school seniors. It was one of the most enlightening experiences I have had since writing the book. Going into it, I wasn’t sure how the kids would react, but the audience of 40 or so remained totally engaged. About a week afterwards I received a stack of hand written letters from the students. The overriding sentiment in most of them was how “cool” they thought it was that we put so much work into saving our marriage. They talked about how it made them look at their own relationships differently. It hit me while I was reading them, well over 50% of them had probably lived through a divorce, and our story reignited some hope that relationships can last if you work at them.

I’m happy to hear you and your husband remain “right there” together. Best of luck to you both. Michael