My Life As It Is

Lost Edens by Jamie Patterson

2011-10-26T21:26:00.006-04:00

In Lost Edens , author Jamie Patterson struggles to save her marriage which may or may not be already over. Keeping her attempts a secret from her family, she attempts to mold herself into the wife her husband wants her to be.

And she really, really kept her attempts a secret from her family. Her story is familiar to so many others we read in fiction, watch on Lifetime movies, and hear other Moms talk about at playgrounds. It’s a timeless story told generation after generation. I know that in my family there are women who stayed in unhealthy marriages for a variety of reasons – culture, tradition, generation expectations, children, and financial. Probably in yours too. They become victims of so many things.

But each story has two sides. There is someone in the relationship doing the abuse. And one has to wonder how they got to that point. No one (in their right mind) raises their child to be the one giving the abuse in a relationship. In most cases, this person thinks its ok because they’ve been raised with this relationship modeled. Or because they have a mental illness of some kind that effects their ability to have positive and healthy relationships with significant others.

Traditionally, women are the victims and men the abusers. I don’t have a daughter. But that does not mean I’m off the hook on having certain conversations of what to look for and look out for in a relationship. I still have them with my son. But from a different perspective: as a male and as a person with a disability. My son is diagnosed with Aspergers, Anxiety, and ADHD. All which can lead to a social nightmare, from either end of a relationship. He’s at a higher risk for unhealthy relationships whether it be friends or significant others, and from both sides of a relationship. He’s doing very, very well right now.

But I can’t let my guard down. I never know when a bump in the road will happen, and his bumps can have really bumpy consequences. And more serious consequences the older he gets.

He’s in middle school and has FB and a cell phone. And yes, I do monitor these. He knows I do, but doesn’t see me doing so, so he has no idea how often. But if I see unhealthy conversations, or iffy conversations, we talk about it immediately. He is interested in girls. And I want him to have a healthy relationship with them. I want him to be able to read the nonverbal signals he gets. I want him to engage in a socially acceptable way.

In so many ways, this is a much more important curriculum for him than the core academics he learns in school. What do you do to facilitate healthy relationships that your children have?

As a member of From Left to Write book club, I received a copy of this book for review. You can read other members posts inspired by Lost Edens by Jamie Patterson on book club day,October 27 at **From Left to Write**

Things I Like About Me!

2011-07-15T22:46:00.000-04:00

My friend C. Mom gave her readers a challenge. To create a list about what we all like about ourselves. Why make a list about what we like about ourselves? Because we are often too hard on ourselves. We don’t give ourselves enough credit. Therefore, it’s past due time to celebrate ourselves. What we like about ourselves. Our strengths.

So, here goes. My list:

• My relationship with my husband. He is my absolute best friend, and has been since we met 20 years ago.
• My relationship with my son. So wanted and loved. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He brings me endless joy. A common thing I’ve heard from several of his teachers is how well we are matched. We just get each other.
• Motivation. I am definitely motivated. Well, when I’m not sleeping from CFS/POTS/FM. Before that diagnosis I was always on the go. I mean, who in their right mind decides to do their first year teaching, get a masters and gestate a baby all in the same year? Wait, maybe that’s not motivation, maybe that’s craziness…
• Patient. I am. Not sure where this trait came from, but patience I definitely have. It’s kinda required for my job. But, the rewards for being patient in my field are so incredibly rewarding and big.
• Positive thinker. I’m definitely a glass is half full vs. half empty kinda person. I simply find it’s easier to go thru life thinking positively. It makes you happier. It makes those around you happier. It takes less energy than thinking half empty.
• I’m starting to like my ability to relax. I used to consider this wasting time. Seriously. Why just sit on the couch and flip thru family sitcoms when you could be learning, communicating, doing something, anything! After my CRF/POTS/FM diagnosis I had no choice but to slow down. And I’m starting to like my ability to slow down and take some time to do nothing.
• Getting paid for what I love to do. I mean really, how much better can it get? I job by my definition that’s a dream job, that I worked and trained hard for, that I wouldn’t trade for the world. And I get paid on top of this?!?
• I like (and hope others see this quality in me) my trustworthiness and ability to listen when a friend needs it.

What do you like about yourself? Go ahead. Make a list and link up to C.Mom!!

Beside Still Waters - Book Blog Tour

2011-06-29T22:21:00.000-04:00

I grew up in a very religious household. Every Sunday we went to church. Mom was in the choir. Both Mom and Dad held various positions on the various committees, including Deacons and Treasurer. It didn’t matter whether use kids wanted to go or not – it simply wasn’t an option. We were to go every Sunday, all year long.

I’m not sure when exactly I started questioning religion, as probably most of us do at some point in our lives. I do remember being somewhat scared to question it though. What if I was stuck down?!? What if I was punished for doubting?!? What if I didn’t agree with my parents religious views?!?

It wasn’t until I was away at college that I stopped attending. Mom couldn’t ‘make’ me anymore. Nothing happened. Then I returned home for summer. My summer job was working at restaurant. Often on Saturday nights. Until 3ish in the morning. I didn’t make it to church much that summer. Despite my Mom’s obvious displeasure, nothing once again happened.

After I was convinced it was ok to not attend church, say the Lord’s Prayer each day and other religious traditions I was grew up expected to do daily or weekly, I started really thinking about religion. What it meant. What it meant to my family. And most of all, what it meant to me. As Sociology major I chose to take Sociology of Religion as an elective. I also babysat for a Hasidic Rabbi’s family all thru college, as well as several of the families in that community.

What I learned was that it was ok not to have the same exact religious views as my parents. It is OK if I am not as religious as them, just as it would be OK if I was more religious than them.
Sometimes realizing that the values and thoughts that we were raised on are OK to alter is a scaring and daunting task. In fact, it is even OK to alter them completly!

This is exactly what Marianna Sommers is going through in Beside Still Waters by Tricia Goyer. Questioning how her parents have raised her in her Amish community. Questioning her feelings towards what she thought she was expected to do when she grew up against possibly changing those plans and the outcome it may bring to her, her childhood crush, a new potential for a husband, and her family.

A huge fan of Amish fiction, it was easy for me to relate to Marianna’s dilemma. Goyer's writing style is easy to read and a perfect summer book to keep in your pool bag. This is one book you definitely want to add to your reading list, whether you are a fan of Amish fiction or not. I’ll be checking the book stores for the sequel to this book to see what Marianna decides to do!

I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of the Beside Still Waters Campaign and received a copy of the book and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

Toes

2011-06-22T21:35:00.000-04:00

Each summer we bring out the sandals and show our feet. Which always makes me more observant of feet.

OK. You're probably thinking where I'm going with this.

When I started dating my husband 20 years ago, I noticed he could spread his toes apart and back - opening spaces inbetween his toes. I thought it was some kind of trick. I thought it was something unique to him. Because I can not do that with my toes. He thought I was being silly. But really. I can't.

So I started paying more attention to other peoples toes. Especially in the summer when they're more observable. Seems most people can stretch their toes. Move them up and down. Stretch them wide apart from each other. I still couldn't.

20 years later, I can slightly spread out my toes on my left foot. This is after TWENTY years of working on it. Yes. I actually work on this. Not like on a regular schedule, or something to put on my to do list. But I did work on it.

But my right foot? Nothing. I tell my toes to move apart. And nothing happens. They move up and down, but will.not.spread.apart.

And I've yet to meet anyone else who shares my predicament.
And each summer I once again become more aware of it.

Honestly, it doesn't bother me. I'm just more perplexed that my feet don't do this.
I also wonder how alone I am in this foot feature.....

A Weekend Getaway

2011-05-30T18:45:00.001-04:00

Yes we did. We got a way for the weekend. Well, half the weekend. But we went away without Adam.

We went away three years ago for a night. That's how long it took my parents to be willing to watch him again.

We didn't go far – actually just about 30 minutes away. But we went to a hotel that was somewhat fancy and more catered to adults. And we went to a restaurant that was somewhat fancy and more catered to adults. And we did lots of sitting around talking and sipping wine and eating good food. It was nice. It was more than nice. And we had a little more than 24 hours without Adam.

The first time we went away I'll admit it was a little hard to enjoy myself. All the 'how's Adam?' doing thoughts kept popping in my head. This time I definitely enjoyed myself. When a 'how's Adam?' thought came into my head it was quickly answered with a 'he's fine, and if he's not at the moment, he'll have to get over it'.

Which, unfortunately he waited until 24 hours after we got home to get over it. Seems he only got a few hours of sleep the night we were gone. He spent most of it sitting in our bed, watching TV, playing on FB, IPad and with the cat. To stressed out to sleep. And then a full day at the water park with his cousins and then a cookout yesterday and he crashed. And then this morning he melted big time. He was just angry and moody.

To which I responded by suggesting perhaps he needs more practice spending the night without Mommy and Daddy (on our terms, not his – a sleepover at the neighbors). He didn't like the idea. Hubby and I did.

Where's The Balance?

2011-05-18T08:51:00.000-04:00

Because seriously, I can't find it.

If I'm having a good week (ie - not in a flare), I work tons. Because I love my work. But then other things like exercise to to the wayside.

If I'm having a good week, I do lots of housework. Because I love a clean house.

If I'm having a good week, Adam is really organized, and has his HW in his bookbag the night before school to make the morning rush earlier. Because I have the energy to make sure he does.

If I'm having a good week, I get to talk with my husband. Really talk, not just who's picking Adam up, who's taking care of this and that. Because I have the energy to make sure we connect.

But I can't say I really have good weeks. Because a good week would mean all of this is getting done. And it's not. Even when I think I'm having a good week. By the end, the 'to do' list is still huge and family time has been cut short.

Let's not even talk about 'me' time. I don't even remember what that really is!

To make mattters worse, I have at least 3 major projects I want to get started. Really, truly wanted to get started, and they are going to all be time consuming, but I've been wanting to do them for years and the itch to do them is getting really itchy!

So, help me blogworld. How do you find balance to get everything to fit?

A New Begining

2011-05-04T09:40:00.000-04:00

Please, - someone invent something to stop time!! Because seriously - MAY?!?

As you've noticed I've been gone again. Had some personal stuff going on that I won't be blogging about, but happy to report it's all cleared up and I'm back.

The focus of this blog will be changing some. I'm not exactly sure how yet though. I'm no longer comfortable blogging about Adam's Aspergers. He's in middle school, and now it's his story to tell if he wishes to. Which is going to make this blog, um, well, have to take a new turn since most of what I blogged about was parenting him. I'm sure he'll still be making some appearances here and there though.

So that leaves me a little speechless in what to write. Bear with me as I find my new voice here.

Lyrics

2011-03-08T22:03:00.001-05:00

I'm in the car quite a bit. And I'm always listening to music while I drive. And singing (because no one else can hear me – and this is a good thing – trust me). When you hear a song enough times you pick it up and most of the time I'm just singing along, not really thinking about it – just singing.

But every now and then a line or two really makes me think. Sometimes it's the tune, sometimes it's the way it fits with the music, and sometimes it's the lyrics themselves.

Lately there has been one song in particular that I can't stop singing along to. It's "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri. And I'm not sure why. I haven't gone through a break up recently. It doesn't remind me of a relationship in the past. But there is just something about her lyrics that get me each time.

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul

This song was on the other day when Adam was in the car with me. He asked me to turn it up - he hadn't heard it yet, but it caught his interest. After it was over he comented on it too. "Wow Mom - there something about the way she says all that, collecting a jar of hearts? Catching a cold form the ice inside your soul? Who sings that?!?"

I'm not really sure what the point of all this was. Maye there was no point other than I like this song.

Am I In Holland, Italy, or Somewhere Perfect?

2011-03-08T21:26:00.001-05:00

I talk a lot about Adam, his Aspergers, and its challenges on this blog. Not to sound like a repeat of the inspirational poem "Welcome to Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsly, but do any of us really expect our journey of parenting to end up in Holland? But yet, here my family is. In the special needs category. In Holland.

But the thing is, Adam is and always has been perfect. He was perfect when I was a child and dreamed of being a Mom one day. He was perfect when hubby and I decided to become pregnant. He was perfect when I found out I was pregnant. He was perfect while I pregnant, when he was born, when he was an infant, toddler, preschooler, and in elementary school. He's now in middle school, and he's still perfect. Who he was before his diagnosis and who was the day after, and even today – he's the same person.

But then again, he's not the same. Or maybe I'm not the same? Aspergers has changed the way we parent. It's changed our plans for Adam. It's changed our expectations of him. It's changed a lot.

But has it?

Didn't I always want the best for my already perfect child? Wasn't I already going to enrich, expose, teach, nurture, and love my perfect child? Wasn't this regardless of his Asperger's diagnosis? Does Aspergers define my child and my parenting, or does my Adam define my child and my parenting?

So, am I really in Holland or am I in Italy?

Maybe there is no way to categorize this journey I'm on. Other than to say it's perfect despite its challenges. Because, when all is said and done, isn't that what parenting is all about? A journey that's perfect?

This post was inspired by the book, Mr. Rosenblum Dreams in English by Natasha Solomon. I received this book, along with some scrumptious shortbread cookies as a member of From Left to Write Book Club. Read how others in this book club were inspired by this book!

Can't Afford Lymphedema Sleeves?

2011-01-06T21:06:00.000-05:00

You may have already seen this, but it's because we all love Toddler Planet so much that we're helping to spread the word. Please help us to spread the word too.

Cross-posted from Toddler Planet

Are you or do you know a breast cancer survivor? Please read today's post and pass it on. If you can't afford to purchase a lymphedema sleeve, gauntlet, and/or glove, and you can't manage your post-mastectomy swelling, Crickett's Answer and LympheDIVAs want to help.

Today, I am pleased to announce a NEW opportunity for breast cancer survivors who have had a mastectomy and/or axillary dissection of the lymph nodes due to breast cancer and have swelling of one or both arms but cannot afford the $200-$500+ cost for two sets of the compression sleeves and gauntlets that survivors with lymphedema must wear every day to keep the swelling in check.

Although lymphedema sleeves are medically necessary, they are not covered by Medicare OR most insurance plans under current law, and thousands of survivors go without the sleeves, needlessly suffering congestion, swelling, and pain that interferes with their normal activities.

Crickett's Answer, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization founded in memory of Crickett Julius, has just joined forces with LympheDIVAs to help other breast cancer survivors who fight not just the beast that is breast cancer but also the fallout of side effects that includes lymphedema, which may limit survivors' activities. By working together, they are now able to provide needed lymphedema sleeves and gauntlets to women who need them but cannot afford them out-of-pocket or convince their insurance companies to pay for them. They do this in honor and memory of their loved ones.

Crickett Julius survived breast cancer only four months, but her mother and cousin are dedicated to helping other women enjoy their life post-diagnosis through Crickett's Answer, a 501(c)3 organization that provides wigs, mastectomy products, oncology/mastectomy/ lymphedema massage, facials, and other pampering services as a way to help women feel feminine and beautiful after losing their hair and/or breasts.

LympheDIVAs was founded by Rachel Troxell and Robin Miller, friends and breast cancer survivors, who wanted to create a more elegant and comfortable compression sleeve. Rachel continued to build the company during her later recurrence. Even though she died two years ago, at the age of 37, her father, mother, and brother continue to grow the company in her honor and in the hope that LympheDIVAs’ compression apparel will continue to inspire breast cancer survivors everywhere to feel as beautiful, strong, and confident as Rachel was.

To ask for help, please download and complete the forms at Crickett's Answer, writing in "lymphedema sleeve and gauntlet" on page 2 of the application.

To help someone else, please copy and paste this post on your blog or email it to a friend (or your local cancer center!).

To donate, go here.

To help change the law so that this medical garment is covered by cancer survivors' insurance, stay tuned for more about the Lymphedema Treatment Act when it is reintroduced in the 2011 Congress.

Because of these women, these three thirty-something women who didn't ask to get breast cancer, and the men and women who love them, there is now help for women who can't afford lymphedema sleeves, a medically necessary garment not typically covered by insurance. Their legacy lives on.

Note: Cancer patients who are members of the National Lymphedema Network and who are treated by an NLN therapist can also apply to the NLN garment fund, set up in honor of Marilyn Westerbrook.

How Many Maps Can Fit On One Fridge?

2010-10-27T21:57:00.001-04:00

I don't remember ever needing to know this. Or even wanting to know this. However, it seems I just might find out. Because over the past week they have been showing up on my fridge.

One morning last week I found this on our fridge:

It's a map of Adam's school. I asked him why it was there. He replied, "In case I get lost at school." Never mind the fact it's the end of the first quarter and he knows his way around the school now. Never mind the fact it won't do him any good on the fridge if he gets lost, you now, at school.

Then a few days later while getting something out to cook for dinner I saw this:

I made the mistake of asking Adam why a second map of his school was on the fridge. I got glared at. Then I saw his back walking away. Notice his choice of magnet to hold up the second map 'Stupid should be painful'. I'm wondering if this was a clue for me.

And this morning:

There is the addition of a map of North America. I took a chance and asked Adam why a third map was on the fridge. I'm glad I did. I got an answer this time. "Because" was mumbled as I saw his back walk away yet again.

Any guesses what will show up next?

ROOM

2010-09-26T20:13:00.001-04:00

I have been seeing more and more attention given to ROOM , by Emma Donoghue, in blogs, book reviews and newspapers recently. Have you? All have given it a completely amazing review and commented on the absolutely horrible situation Ma finds herself in with her son Jack. Most reviews comment on the dark plot, sadistic character of Old Nick, and disturbing topics. And while it is no doubt depressing, I was also completely amazed and in awe of Ma.

So often these days we think we can't live without FB, smart phones, cable TV, internet, fast food, modern appliances – even something as simple as a washer and dryer. Our children scour thru catalogues months in advance of the winter holidays making up wish lists to pass out to relatives. We study history in school and always think, it may be fun to live in colonial days for a day or two, but wow I'm glad I didn't have to on a regular basis. Because it all looks hard and boring.

And so often we all have our rough days. Whether it is because our child is whining all day and Just.Won't.Listen. Or because our car breaks down 5 miles from home with cold groceries in the trunk. Or because our partner has to go away for a week and we have to single parent. Simply put, we all have our days where we truly wish everything would just go away.

But what if it did? What if you really, truly had no choice? What if you lived in a 12x12 shed with very few belongings and an infant that grows to be a 5 year old? How would you pass the time? How would you entertain, teach, and nurture your child? How would you protect your child from the person who supplies you food, electricity and clothing – the provider and also the scariest person in the world to you? How would you keep yourself sane enough to be able to show your child joy in things?

What I found absolutely incredible about this most tragic situation Ma is in is that somehow she pulls together the strength to mother Jack. She gives him the love he needs and the other basics of life he needs. But on top of that she thinks creatively to give him a basic education in not just academics, but also character development. Jack is happy, and it's because of her. I'd like to think if I were in her shoes I would do the same. I'd like to think the maternal instincts of mothering would completely kick in no matter what the situation. But I just don't know. I sure do hope I'll never have to find out.

I also think Ma should win Mother of the Year award. And I also think my rough days really aren't that rough.

I received a free copy of ROOM, and with no obligation to review, as part of the From Left To Write book club. To read other posts inspired by this book, check out book clubs website, From Left to Write.

Am I Spoiled?

2010-09-24T10:25:00.001-04:00

Tuesday I was tucking Adam into bed (I absolutely love that at this age he Still Insists that I tuck him in each night). He says to me, "Mom, aren't you going to wish me a happy birthday week?" I ask him, "Why? Your birthday isn't until Friday."

Turns out he has decided we should celebrate birthdays all week now. "Wouldn't it be fun? We could celebrate each day and make the whole week special!"

He paused and thought for a minute, "Would that make me spoiled though? Because I wouldn't want to be spoiled. Then I might forget to be thankful and turn into a brat and I don't want people to think of me that way." He thought a few more seconds, "How about we just say Happy Birthday all week but only get presents on our actual birthday?"

I must be doing something right J

Want to read a book?

2010-09-15T21:45:00.001-04:00

Sometimes September is the easiest time for me to read – when the days slow down a bit while Adam is in school. And the great weather we've been having has certainly helped! There's nothing like rocking on the swinging bench on the front porch with a slight breeze and a good book.

For the next week I'm going to catch up on letting you know the latest great books I've received to review. But for now I'm going to start with a short article from Dr. Dora Calott Wang, author of The Kitchen Shrink: A Psychiatrist's Reflection on Healing in a Changing World

Women Will Steer the Fate of Health Care Reform

As mothers, daughters, wives and leaders of households, women often steer the health care choices of families. Thus in the coming years, women will also be a major force toward implementing health care reform and the landmark Affordable Care Act.

Whenever we enroll a child into newly available health insurance, whenever we convince parents to get mammograms or colonoscopies that will be free under Medicare in 2011, each time we appeal an insurance company's denial of care, or when we choose health insurance in new marketplaces beginning in 2014 -- we will be helping to shape the future of health care in America. In fact, much of the ACA depends upon the actions and choices of patients, with women often taking the lead.

Many ACA laws are already in effect. For example, nursing mothers in most workplaces are now entitled to time and private space to pump breast milk for a child's first year of life. Did you ever think the feds would mandate this? It's a new era.

The ACA's main goal is for nearly every American to have health insurance. New opportunities are already available, and uninsured members of your family may qualify. If someone in your family has been denied health insurance because of a pre-existing illness, check out the new "high-risk pool" insurance plans available now. Log onto Healthcare.gov to find local options, and get your loved one covered. Medicaid has been expanded, so someone in your family may be newly eligible. By September 23, you can insure your children under your own health plan until they are age 26, and insurance companies will have to accept all children under age 19 with pre-existing illnesses.

Patients (and the women often guiding them), might possibly exert the most influence on health care reform through two important ACA measures -- appeals processes that should be in place by Sept. 23, and the new health insurance marketplaces in effect by 2014.

In the words of President Obama, the ACA aims to protect patients against the worst abuses of health insurance companies. The ACA provides many safeguards against insurance companies denying coverage. Yet the devil is still in the details when it comes to holding insurers more accountable toward paying for care. To fight against insurance companies taking our premiums, then trying not to pay for medical care, the federal government is cracking down on fraud, waste and abuse. The ACA eliminates life-time caps on health insurance benefits, while mandating that insurance companies now must spend at least 85 percent of their dollars on medical care, rather than on profit and administration.

We the public can do our part to keep insurance companies honest through new appeals processes which should be in place by Sept. 23 for new insurers. If you feel your new insurer is unfairly denying care, or is stalling on time-sensitive care, you will be able to appeal to the insurer itself, but also to an external review process. The ACA leaves it up to individual states to institute these appeals processes, but the federal government will hear grievances if state processes are inadequate.

These appeals processes will be an all-important aspect of health reform -- which will be driven by patients making appeals, and therefore reliant upon all of us.

Another crucial step is that by 2014, we can shop for health insurance in new exchanges offering comparisons between different plans. So if we see an insurance company hiking rates by 70 percent in one year, for example, or if an insurance company has a reputation of not paying for care (yes, this will still happen under the ACA), the new exchanges will offer options. Collectively, by choosing insurance for our families, we'll determine which insurers succeed or fail, and thus shape the landscape of American health care.

The lady of the house has always had a large role in steering the health care choices of her family. Now with the new Affordable Care Act, the actions of women on behalf of their families will collectively shape the future of health care in America.

For more information about the ACA and its timeline, log onto the excellent website, Healthcare.gov.

Yum, Pizza!

2010-09-13T10:20:00.001-04:00

I LOVE pizza. But I'm a picky pizza eater. I grew up in CT, right outside of NYC. And I got spoiled by good pizza. Really good pizza. After moving to Hampton Roads and then NoVa, I had to adjust to the fact that if I wanted pizza, it was going to have to pretty much be chain pizza.

Recently we tried ZPizza. Although it's a chain, its style is much closer to the pizza I was raised on. But that wasn't the only reason I got excited. As I've mentioned before, Adam has Celiacs. Pizza is one thing he has truly missed. I can make him a pizza at home, but when everyone else at the party or gathering is eating pizza that was delivered and you've got a pizza in a Tupperware container made by Mom, it's just not the same.

ZPizza has gluten-free crusts! And he LOVES them! Now on those evenings we want to order pizza we can, and we can all eat it. Gluten-free for him, Gluten for Mom and Dad. Or if he's going to a party that is having pizza, I'll pick one up from ZPizza on the way for him. It truly has been a wonderful option for him as he hits the middle school years where all those social things become even more important.

ZPizza is also very health conscious. Their sauce and wheat pizza crust are organic. Tons of fresh veggies and meats to choose from to create your own pizza or choose from their huge selection of creative creations. Not in the mood for pizza or rustica's, but your family is – ZPizza also has a wide range of salads, sandwiches, pasta and calzones (these are my personal favorite).

Getting in the mood to try ZPizza? If you're in NoVa, you're in luck. Tuesday, September 14^th, between 4PM and 7PM the Alexandria location (6328-C Richmond Highway, Alexandria VA 22306; 703-660-8443) will be handing out free samples. ZPizza's Director of Training will be on site to answer any questions you have. And before you head out, be sure to sign up for the ZTribe and get a coupon for doing so!

2:37 AM

2010-09-10T07:52:00.001-04:00

Every now and then I have these moments where I feel like a genius. Except what I am geniusing about is, well, rather pathetic. But it still impresses me when I have these moments (it's the little things in life that make me happy).

When I got the Droid last year I was all super happy – my first smart phone. I could do this, and this, and this and that too, and how in the world did I live without a Smartphone before! I could have constant contact to everything – email, Face book, Twitter, Google Reads, silly apps – EVERYTHING! And boy do I take advantage of it. But something I never liked about the Smartphone is that when I read blog posts in the reader I never comment – too much to click over to the blog, increase, scroll, comment on a small keyboard and all that (yea, I'm pathetically lazy too). "I'll just go back to that blog and make a comment at home" I'd innocently thing. Of course that never happens in reality.

So, 3 nights ago, at 2:37 AM I had this incredibly awesome idea (this is the when I was feeling like a genius moment): I'd stop reading blogs on my Smartphone and only on my laptop. That way I could comment back!!

I tell ya, I'm a genius, I am.

A New Year

2010-09-09T11:58:00.001-04:00

School started this week for Adam. My new job as adjunct faculty at a local university also started this week. The weather seems to have taken note of this ending of summer as the mornings are cool as are the evenings. Fall is right around the corner. Our kitchen and family room remodeling construction is underway.

So many new beginnings. It's like a new year. Wait – it is – if you celebrate Rosh Hashanah. I've posted in years back that September always seemed to be a better time for looking back and looking ahead than January. All that seems to really change in January is the date you write on your check.

Despite this past year being a more difficult one (husband had his first overseas long-term business trip, I was on medical leave for 6 months and am still in a flare-up waiting (not so patiently anymore) for it to end) I do have so much to be grateful for. This year brings so many new opportunities for everyone in my family. New opportunities that we've all worked hard to obtain.

L'shanah Tovah

Limitless Love and It’s Power

2010-09-01T22:18:00.001-04:00

I've mentioned before that Adam has a pet Gecko Lizard he named George, and how George came to be part of our family. That post was almost 2 years ago. Wow how time flies!

George is still alive and well, and loved ever so much now as he was then. George seems to knowwhen it's Adam looking in his home. If it's me or one of Adams friends he breathes faster, if it's Adam he slows down his breathing after his startle of having realized big looming eyes are staring at him.

When Adam puts his hand into the cage George climbs right into his hand. Adam takes him out, whispers sweet loving comments to him as he pets him and George rests his head on his fingers. It is truly amazing to watch this connection between Adam and George.

We go to the pet store weekly to stock up on crickets and mealworms. For the past 5 months or so Adam has been looking at the other reptiles. He'd love a cat or dog, but with allergies those aren't options. So he'll look at them, but he Really Looks at the reptiles. For A Long Time. And talks about how much he'd like another one. He's made it clear he loves George, but he wants more pets to love and take care of.

Last week Adam was rushed to the ER for severe stomach cramps. Three hours later he was in surgery for removal of his appendix. The first thing he said upon hearing he was having surgery and would be spending the night in the hospital was "But what about George? Who will feed him?" Now, George can go a day without food. He's good like that (and also helps to make him a great pet if we want to go away for an overnight trip!) Not the fact he was being put under and having an organ removed. Not the fact he wouldn't be allowed to do Tae Kwon Do for at least a month. Not the fact he was officially being admitted into the hospital. His thoughts were on George. His beloved pet. That all started with an inch worm 3 ½ years ago.

I do think it is time for another pet for Adam. He has once again surprised us with his level of growth – his ability to be responsible enough to take care of a pet. But not just take care of it. To love it. To reach out and have a relationship with another being. Something that's supposed to be very difficult for him seems so easy when it comes to George. As well as others he's let into his circle. He's come a long way. And all with the help from such small creatures.

When I was offered the opportunity to read Cowboy and Wills from the From Left to Write book club I clicked over to the author's website to see what the book was about. A boy with autism, who learns to navigate the social world along with his bestest buddy ever, Cowboy, his puppy. How in the world could I not read Ms. Holloways memoir?!? This book, a heartwarming, you won't want to put it down till you get to the end, but you don't want it to end because, well, then it would be done, touched me personally on so many levels. Thank you to Ms. Holloway for being brave enough to share Wills story so that others may see limitless love and it amazing power.

I received a complimentary copy of Cowboy and Wills, and with no obligation to review, as part of the From Left to Write book club.

Bringing Back Memories

2010-08-27T13:22:00.001-04:00

When Adam was in 3^rd grade he studied Ancient Civilizations and was introduced to historic figures. We took him to the Children's Museum in Baltimore since they had an exhibit on Ancient Egypt. He loved the hands on activities of taking the boat across the Nile, writing in hieroglyphics and exploring a pyramid to discover a mummy.

Like so many units of history and science he has studied, we love to find hands-on activities for him to supplement what he's being taught in school. Lucky for us we live in the DC area – filled with tons of museums between Baltimore and Richmond.

Adam is a fairly quick learner. But when he sees and touches what he's learning, the learning is even that much faster. Often we don't need to go farther than our local bookstore or library. Just looking at a DK book or some other book with pictures helps to solidify information for him.

I received Famous Figures of Ancient Times by Cathy Diez-Luckie as a member of the From Left To Write online book club. When I showed the historical figures that you could color (or use the pre-colored sets), cut and assemble he immediately said, "Remember when we went to the museum in Baltimore when I studied Ancient Egypt? That's when I started learning about the Egyptian and Greek Gods!" Later that day I found him reading one of his books about the mythical Gods.

As I member of the Left To Write book club, I was given a complimentary copy of this book. I was not obligated to write about this book, and all opinions are mine only.

Dinner with NO Sitters

2010-08-16T22:10:00.000-04:00

Yup - you heard it. We don't need sitters anymore. It's really official now.

Our child, who couldn't name the peers he sat next to in 2nd grade...
Our child, who would throw 2-3 hour tantrums at the slightest change in routine....
Our child, who would spin, and spin, and spin nonstop rather than engage in age typical activities.....

Our child who has worked soo very hard....

Our child who has learned to be flexible....
Our child who loves when his friends come over to play....
Our child who is always finding kids at the pool to play with....
Our child who can modulate his own sensory needs....

Stays home alone now.
We've been leaving him alone for short stints and slowly increasing it over the past year (he's old enough we could have been leaving him home alone for hours at a time last year).

Tonight, for our anniversary Hubby and I went out to dinner. And we didn't need a sitter.

Sometimes dreams do come true.
Sometimes the nightmares begin to slow down.
Sometimes it's really safe to dream some more.

Does Anyone Else Have This Problem, Part II

2010-08-16T22:08:00.000-04:00

I know you are all in suspense wondering what I've decided to do.
Grow the bangs out of course!
Stay tuned for Part III where I of course, decide I want bangs after all and one morning spontaneously cut them myself because if I wait for a hair appointment I might change my mind by then.
Ugh.
The endless cycle.

Does Anyone Else Have This Issue?

2010-08-07T21:18:00.000-04:00

I've got bangs.

Problem is when I have them, I don't want them. I start to think I look better without them. They require more maintance - especially since I have a cowlick just in the center of my forehead (thank goodness for straightening irons!).

So I grow them out. And then I don't have them.

But then I think I look better with bangs. So I get my hair cut and get bangs back.

And about 4 months later I think, 'No, I looked better without bangs. I should grow them out.'

Rinse, Lather, Repeat....

Am I the only one with this issue?

Back To School Shopping At Target? Not!

2010-08-03T11:32:00.001-04:00

Unfortunately it's August. Which for us means Back to School Shopping. And, which for the past 6 school years have meant going to Target.

Why Target? Why not. They always have what is on Adam's teachers lists. And then more. I heart Target. I really do. It's where his clothes come from. He loves that blue creatures with lots of eyes line of clothes. Heck, it's where most of my clothes come from. It's where I pick up those cute seasonal plates for him (well, not so much anymore, but when he was a kid he loved seasonally themed kid plates and bowls to eat from). Most of our house accessories come from Target. I planned on having a fun day shopping for new accessories there in September when our new kitchen finishes its total remolding. Need a few items from the grocery store – no need to go there, just pick them up at Target and no need to go to another store also. After our mortgage, I think Target is probably our biggest monthly expense!

But I won't be shopping at Target this year for back to school supplies. In fact, I won't be shopping at Target at all for now. It will be hard, but I'm gonna do it.

You see, I believe if you fall in love with someone, you should be able to marry them. To find someone who you share values with, good times with, makes your heart go thump, thump. To find someone you want to work out life problems with. Forever. It's so amazing when you've found that someone. It's so special when you've found that someone. I'm so grateful that I found my partner. Aren't you grateful for your partner? Shouldn't we all be allowed that same joy?

I'm not so sure Target believes this though. It has been reported that Target has donated $150,000 to Tom Emmer's campaign. He is a Republican running for Governor in Minnesota. Minnesota is where Target is headquartered.

According to The Minnesota Independent:

In 2007, Emmer authored a constitutional amendment to prohibit same-sex marriage and civil unions.

In many instances, Emmer has tried to change language in bills to that same-sex couples cannot benefit. In a bill to create standards around surrogate motherhood, Emmer attempted to replace the word "parents" with the words "mother and father." In a wrongful death bill this session, Emmer questioned the use of the term "domestic partner" just as he has in bills aimed at providing benefits for same-sex partners.

Heck, here's what Tom says on his own campaign website:

I believe marriage is the union between one man and one woman. As a legislator, I have consistently supported the constitutional marriage amendment that protects traditional marriage.

So, I'm really confused. Target claims to support gay-friendly policies, including offering domestic partner benefits. However, with the money Tom's campaign received from Target, they may not be allowed to keep these benefits. Why would Target support him then?

Before writing this article I did some research. I was also surprised to find out that Best Buy also contributed ($100,000) to Tom's campaign. Um….

I mean, this probably shouldn't be a surprise. I'm sure lots of places I go to and give my money to support candidates that I may not totally agree with. But now this is out in the open. Target and Best Buy are supporting a very anti-gay candidate. In fact, he is the only candidate running for governor that does not support same-sex marriage.

Once I am aware of something I can't ignore it. And this is something I truly disagree with. I truly agree that if you fall in love, and the relationship is healthy (no abuse for example) and you want to get married, you should be able to, regardless of you and your partners gender.

And because of this, I am joining Dial M for Minky Moo and many others in boycotting Target. At least for now. People and companies can make mistakes. But mistakes can be fixed. If Target truly does support gay's rights (as I used to think they do, but am now confused about it), they can make amends. They can donate money to The Human Rights Campaign. Because The Human Rights Campaign will certainly need additional funds to help fight human rights from politicians like Tom, especially is he is elected.

While I do not know for sure who Walmart and other big chains support, I do know that Target has confused me who it supports on a value that means a lot to me, and for that reason I will be doing Adam's Back to School shopping not at Target this year. Will you be joining Minky Moo and I?

PS – The Human Rights Campaign has a button to click to take action if you are so inclined.

The Spectrum of Happiness

2010-07-25T12:36:00.000-04:00

The other day I came across this article defining in the best possible way what happiness is.

Sadly a few days later, this made news.

Just as with autism, there is a spectrum in how parents of special needs children are able to raise their children with happiness for who their child is.

I only wish Ms. Akhter could have seen Ms. Lawler's post. Or that the social services that were involved with Ms. Akhter had more resources, budget and time to help her.

Every parent should be able to find happiness with their children. There should be no Spectrum of Happiness when it comes to parenting. There should only be one spot - Happiness.

Reading vs. Educational TV

2010-07-23T23:56:00.000-04:00

Here's a question for you all:

If my son is just not in the mood to read, is it OK for him to watch educational TV (History Channel, National Geographic Channel) instead?

The other day I told him to go watch something educational. I must have been completely out of my mind. But I was in the middle of something I couldn't stop and he was bored out of his mind. But then I got to thinking:

Well, obviously it's better than playing video games.
He's learning
He's visual - so he might even remember it better
He's learning something he may not be willing to read
Isn't some of the point of reading to learn about a topic of interest?

A week ago he was flipping thru the channels at bedtime and came across a special on Hitler. WWII has been slowly becoming an interest of his. He knows he'll be studying it this year at school. And earlier in the month we watched the movie "A Diary of Anne Frank". Earlier in the spring we watched "The Boy in Stripped Pajama's". He's asked questions about that particular time period since then. He wanted to stay up and watch the special. So we let him - he watched that one, and the Part II afterwards. And then talked about it quite a bit.

And not that he'll be allowed to watch educational TV vs reading, and I'm certainly not saying his education should come primarily from video, but, what's the value of watching a special on some aspect of history or science vs reading? And if that captures his interest even more and then he wants to read up further, isn't that better than saying go read for 20 minutes because the schools say you should?

Excuse Me While I Whine For a Bit

2010-07-21T13:39:00.001-04:00

Dear Body,

It's been just about 8 months now since you began tormenting me with this flare up. And yes, while medication is certainly helping me to crawl out of this, I'm still crawling. I think the light at the end of the tunnel is the sun, but sometimes it's a train instead still.

I try to look on the bright side of things. I really do. I'm not sleeping 12-16 hours a day. I'm not in immense pain everywhere to the point where a sheet covering me hurts. I can get by on 10 hours of sleep now. My body isn't in constant pain. But that's when I do the bare minimum. When I go for a jog or to the gym I'm beyond sore the day after. If I run 2 errands in a row I need to sit on the couch for an hour to regain my energy. Yesterday we went into the city for a fun family outing. And it was fun. And I slept for 3 hours as soon as we got home, and then another 10 at night. I have to space major outings to every other day so I can rest in between. Or that light becomes a train again.

But it's really hard to keep looking at this positively. My list of things I need to do and want to do is huge. Its summer time and I would love to have energy to do outings with my son. The one who is growing up so fast. The one who really prefers his friends to his parents. But there are those times during the day he still wants to hang with just me. But I'm too tired. Too tired to even stay awake and watch a movie with him. Too tired to take a walk outside. Too tired to do a science experiment with him. Because if I do, then it might push me over the edge and I won't even be awake later in the day when he really might need me. Or I'm so tired I do nothing but snap and have no patience. How do I explain to him he can't sit on the couch all day and do nothing when that's usually what he sees his mother doing? How many times should he have to hear "Not now, I'm too tired, maybe in a little bit." And that little bit doesn't arrive because then it's time to do something else that we have to do instead of want to do.

So, body, how about we come to a compromise. You give me some extra energy. And then in September when Adam is back in school I can finish the crawling out while he is in school. And it won't interfere with my ability to mother the way I'd like to. What do you say? Want to give it a try?

Even Good Transitions Are Rough

2010-07-19T14:13:00.001-04:00

Remember last week when I mentioned that hubby had recently come home from an out of the country trip and to use your imagination on why I hadn't posted? You were all thinking wine, food, rest, relaxation kind of busy, weren't ya? Get your heads out of the gutters you silly readers!

We were busy transitioning Adam to having Dad back. For 6 weeks (and then a week before that he was also gone for a week) I had been so busy getting him ready for life without Dad.

We made a calendar to mark down the days until his return, but also highlighting activities I had planned to keep us busy. That was put on our fridge to see daily.

We had talks about what routines would be the same, and how Dad being gone would affect other routines.

Adam and Dad picked out stuffed animals – a big and little penguin. Dad took Adam's Little Penguin with him and took pictures of him throughout his trip. This allowed Adam to see where Dad slept, worked, and other places he came across on his journey. Adam took care of Big Penguin and we took pictures of our adventures to share with Dad about what we were up too. This allowed them a conversation starter when they were able to Google Talk each other. Instead of 'what did you do today Adam?' and having the standard 'nothing' reply, Dad was able to say 'I saw the picture of Big Penguin – tell me about your outing'.

Adam and Big Penguin excavating gems.

I made sure to keep things consistent. His teacher and principal knew Dad was Out Of The Country and kept an extra eye on him as well.

And for 6 weeks all was Going Well. Any issues we had were issues we would have had if Dad was here too. I was actually very surprised by how easy it was!

And we got SOOO excited the closer to the day Dad came home.

But I forgot to get him ready for it. It was a happy moment. It was a joyous moment. And within an hour of Dad's return it was meltdown after meltdown after meltdown. For about 4 days. I kicked myself big time. How could I have forgotten that with Autism Spectrum transitions – the rough ones as well as the GOOD ones – were difficult?!?

So, yea. We were busy. Busy dealing with a happy transition that came back to bite me. But no worries. Seems we'll get to practice this long trip thing again. And you'd better believe I'll be getting ready for the transition of Dad leaving AND Dad returning this time.

2010-07-12T11:52:00.001-04:00

Wow – what a busy start to the summer it's been!

Last week Hubby came home from 6 weeks out of the country. Enough said on that – use your imagination on why I haven't been on last week J
I got my test results from the BCBA Exam - I passed – WOOT!! Another acronym to go after my name!! But seriously – I know really have the proper credentials to help individuals and their families on the autism spectrum (as well as other conditions involving inappropriate behavior) to become successful in social and communication areas.
I quit the county schools (again) and will be working as a private BCBA and (keep fingers crossed) adjunct at a local university starting this fall!!
I will be co-writing Fairfax Macaroni Kids with the wonderful Elena!! The weekly newsletter comes out on Thursdays – hope you'll enjoy reading what we put together each week!
PuttingTogetherPuzzlePieces is off to a slow start, but I'm hoping to really focus a lot of writing over there this summer after last week's busy week. Still in the nitty gritty of what it all is, diagnosisng, etc, but soon will be focusing on strategies to aid in behavior successes.
I went back to work part-time (Camp director for Social Skills camp) – and survived. Did a lot of resting, but no napping J
The Adapted TKD class I co-teach started a new class at a 2^nd studio this past weekend!!
The lovely Jessica provided me passes for the screening of Despicable Me. It was our first Daddy-is-back-home-let's-do-something-as-a family-event. And it was wonderful. The movie is great, and I'm glad to see critics are agreeing. I do caution younger kids seeing this – let's face it – our main character is a villain and wants to keep that status, he doesn't always do the nicest things. However, laugh, and laugh hard you will. And as my son stated the movie is 'pleasantly heartwarming' at the end. A huge thanks to Jessica for the tickets!!

I'm actually looking forward to a quiet week this week!!

A Letter of Thanks

2010-06-28T17:37:00.000-04:00

I'm sharing with you all a letter of thanks to my son's school. He just finished elementary school and will be heading off the world of middle school in September. Because I taught at that school (beginning when Adam was in 3rd grade) he was pupil placed there. When I left, his principal allowed him to remain there so he would not have to switch school. This school also feeds into his base middle school, so the friends he met would be continuing on with him also.

I wrote this letter, because I think all too often schools (administrators and teachers) don't get even close to the credit they deserve. Yea - just as in every profession, there are definitely some schools that could use some room for improvement. But there are also lots of schools that are doing amazing jobs with our kids. And they don't get thanked enough. Because Adam's principal allowed him to stay, and because of the wonderful job they did with him I felt they definitely deserved a special thank you. It is because of teams like Adam had, that he was able to get where he is today developmentally. (Names, of course, have been changed)

Dear Dr. Principle and Ms. Assistant Principle,

We are writing this to thank you for allowing Adam to be pupil placed at Best Elementary School for the past four years. Our entire family has completely enjoyed our experience here.

When Adam began 3rd grade at Best Elementary School he didn't have the most positive attitude towards school. After his first day Dad and I could see it turning in a different direction. When asked how his day went he exclaimed, "Mom, Dad, I'm gonna have to listen! At this school when the teacher asks a question she doesn't need to repeat it because everyone was listening. So someone answers and she moves on! Which means I won't be bored anymore! Which means maybe I won't get into mischief anymore!"

At some point in September of 3rd grade he also put away his car carpet (a small floor carpet that has roads and buildings printed on it to drive Matchbox cars on). You see, all through 2nd grade he had this carpet out in a quiet area of the house. The roads were jam packed with Matchbox cars lined up in traffic jams. Most days after school he would go to the carpet and re-arrange the traffic jams. While doing so he would be quietly mumbling to himself, but stop whenever someone entered the room. Dad and I had always thought this was another display of his Aspergers Syndrome - a fixation and perseverate play. Sometimes he would be there for 10 minutes, sometimes up to an hour. Of course, we would always guide him away and back into 'our world', but it was clear this was part of his routine - this need to re-arrange the traffic jams and line cars up just so on the roads.

We asked him why he put it away. His answer completely took us by surprise. He said, "Because the traffic jams in my life are gone finally." Upon further questioning he shared with us that each road represented a different part of his day - morning work, math, reading, lunch, specials, home, etc. Depending on how each part of the day went depended on how much of a traffic jam there was in the afternoon. Some cars were even associated with specific people. The more he perceived them as irritating him, the more they were towards the front of the traffic jam line. The days there were crashes were the days he was sent to the Principal's office, severely reprimanded by his teacher or had a major conflict with a peer.

The car carpet has not been taken out since then! And while he did not think every day was perfect, he did believe that the staff truly was invested in his learning and teaching him to be a better person, as well as also learn to realize his role in conflicts and how to solve and prevent them.

The classroom teacher he has had all 4 years have all gone above and beyond their call of duty.

It is because of them that he has truly improved in his ability to relate and interact with his peers. As parents we can tell him what he should, could and should do in different situations. But we can't provide 25 children for him to practice these skills with. Dad and I really did not think he'd be where he is socially at this age. His growth in wanting to interact and actually doing it successfully, learning to navigate ht nonverbal world, and maintaining friendships has been a joy to watch develop. To have neighborhood kids knocking on our door, to have sleepovers, to be able to spontaneously play Marco Polo at the pool with children he just met...these are all activities he did not engage in before.

It is because of them that he enjoys being at school and learning and challenging himself.

It is because of them that he is prepared to go to middle school both academically and socially.

All his classroom teachers have been wonderful at keeping the lines of communication open with us as parents. Sharing funny stories as well as areas that he was having difficulty with so that we could all work as a team with Adam to help. All his teachers were always flexible to try accommodations and modifications so that Adam could fully participate in activities.

We would like to thank all the staff at Best School:
Mrs. 3rd Grade teacher, Mrs. 4th grade teacher, Ms. 5th grade teacher, Mrs. 6th grade teacher, Mrs. 5th grade teacher, Ms. Guidance Counselor, Mrs. Guidance Counselor, Mr. PE teacher, Mrs. PE Teacher, Mrs. Library Teacher, Mrs. Art Teacher, Mr. Art Teacher, Mrs. Nurse, Mr. Band Teacher, Mrs. Music Teacher, Mrs. Music Teacher, Administration, Office and Custodial Staff and the rest of the Best Elementary School Staff for all they have given Adam.

We will miss Best Elementary School. This school will always have a special place in our memories,

Thank you,
Adam's Mom and Dad

Doll Houses Aren't Just for Dolls

2010-06-17T14:42:00.000-04:00

See this doll house? Adam and I got it from Michael's. We spent A Long Time putting it together, gluing it and painting it. You might be wondering why the blue, gray and black color theme. You may be wondering why a just-about-12-year-old-boy wanted a doll house.

For his Lego's of course!!

New post up at PuttingTogetherPuzzlePieces.

To Summer Camp Or Not

2010-06-02T12:06:00.000-04:00

The question of the week has been do I send Adam to summer camp or not? Apparently I'm not alone in this delima as I come across this topic as I've been reading my blog feeder the past few weeks.

So, I'm gonna do the classic Pros and Cons list.

Pros:
-Northern VA offers camps on an amazing amount of topics-sports academics, enrichment-you name it, there is a camp for it
-We can afford it
-Opportunity to practice social skills
-Opportunity to learn something
-To keep Adam busy

Cons:
-Camps are all over the county, and with traffic I could very well spend 1-3 hours a day transporting him to and from camp
-He's unlikely to interact with the kids from camp afterwards-chances of them in his school, or nearby are actually not that big depending where oh the county the camp is.
-I could use the money spent on camp on trips to museums and water parks
-He can practice social Skills with kids in neighborhood who he has relationships with already
-If counselors don't have training/experience with Aspergers it could be miserable for Adam (and others around him)

I think the decision is actually not that hard. Each year I pour through web sites for summer camps and then decide the cons outweigh the pros. Afterall, isn't summer supposed to be about sleeping in, relaxing, learning in your own backyard, swimming at the neighborhood pool, impromptu play dates in the neighborhood, extra screen time, reading books because you WANT to, not because you were ASSIGNED to and exploring hobbies and interests on your own?

Yea. I think we'll do that again this summer along with some day trips into the city.

Announcing a New Blog!!

2010-05-28T10:41:00.000-04:00

I don't know who I'm kidding.
I've been teasing you with promised updates, promises that I'm coming back, and I just don't. But the thing is, as much as I want to write, I just don't know what to write about anymore.

I doubt you want to hear about how much I'm still sleeping as I deal with this flare up of CFS and FM that still has me out on medical leave.
You might want to hear about Adam, but, I don't know. He's older know and I just don't feel right talking about him like I used to. He's moving onto crushes with girls and other teen stuff. And it's just not the same as those cute little kid stories. And I feel there more his stories now, rather than a Mom's story.

But I miss writing. So, I've started a new blog (drum roll please):

Putting Together Puzzle Pieces

My passion for over a decade has been Autism and behavioral treatments. So, that's what I'm going to write about. I want to cover tons of topics from resources on web, resources in library's/book stores, different treatments and therapies, impact on families and lots of stuff.

The Internet, blogging and friends have always been there for me when I needed help with Adam. I hope that what I provide can help someone too.

I hope you'll follow me over there.

Where have you been? Far far away. How far? Far

2010-04-28T17:19:00.001-04:00

Far, far away.

So far, I even forgot my password to this blog and had to try several before I was able to sign back in.

So far away you'd think I had a lot to say on what I've been up to.

But, not really. I've been sleeping. Literally. And in pain. Lots of it. Enough that since mid-Feb I've been on medical leave, and my doctor just extended it till the end of the school year. My chronic fatigue syndrome flared up. Along with some other symptoms that just didn't go with typical CFS flareups. I now have Fibromyalgia tacked onto medical file. Oh, and lets not forget the Orthostatic Impairment.

So, yea, I've literally been sleeping. And in pain. And fighting fevers.

But today I have a new drug. One that I am every so hopeful will give me some energy and endurance so that I can crawl out of being far, far away.

Do You Know The Story About The Boy Who Cried Wolf?

2009-11-05T09:27:00.001-05:00

I'm beginning to feel like that boy.
I'm busy, but I'll post. But then no post.
I'm still busy, but I'll post. But then no post.

But, I really am busy. Busy enjoying life as it is. And it's different from last year.

Working full time is kicking my butt. Teaching the Adapted TKD is kicking my butt. Being on my son's school PTA Board is kicking my butt. But I love it all.

And why, if all this is kicking my butt did I find myself checking out the PhD programs at GMU and UMD again, for the umpteenth time? Especially when I post on Facebook that there is just not enough time and where does it go?

In other news, hubby and I had 2 new firsts for us.
Adam's teacher conference - NO ISSUES!! Well, spelling and grammar are weak, but that's what spell and grammar check are for as far as I'm concerned. No behavior issues, no social issues. Grades are at an all time high since kindergarten and 1st grade. The few times he didn't have his homework he went on his own to her and told her so and then told her she could expect it the next day. If it gets loud in the room or he's being easily distracted he asks to finish his work in the hallway. She says she sees NO Aspie stuff at all (ADHD yes, but no spectrum).

And

His annual at the pediatrician - no issues to talk. Just a refill for the low dose of meds he is on and a check of tummy, throat, etc. Shortest nicest visit ever.

All this only confirms his ADOS testing in the spring where he tested off the spectrum. Is he really 'recovered'? Or are we just in a really, really good spot thanks to tons of behavioral interventions and 2 parents working together?

But, regardless, I'm just really enjoying life right now. And this new 'phase' Adam has been in. Such a different, but at the same time the same child he's always been.

Next post I'll be sharing how we're entering the world of GIRLS (or rather, how Adam is).
Just hopefully, I won't keep you in suspense very long!

Waving a Small Hand Hello (again)....

2009-10-12T20:58:00.001-04:00

Umm. Hello out there (waves hand). If there is anyone out there still....

I'm still here, although I know it's hard to believe with all this lack of posting. But it's a good lack of posting. Not a too-much-to-say, lost-at-words, stuff-I-can't/shouldn't-write-about lack of posting. It's more like a I'm-busier-than-ever, but it's all-OK-busy.

Loving my job - which I knew I would as I subbed this position 3/4 time last school year. Switching to full time has been everything I expected - loving the challenge and hating trying to find that right balance.
I'm on the PTA Board at Adam's school. One of my (main) duties is writing the monthly newsletter. Which doesn't sound like a difficult job, but wow is it way more time consuming than I thought it would be! It doesn't help that our newsletter has won the state's PTA newsletter award a few times in the past few years, so I've got big shoes to fill.
The Adapted Tae Kwon Do program is going strong. Really strong. And we continue to have students transition successfully into the regular TKD program too. It's been so incredible to see so many kids with disabilities succeed at TKD, the joy on the parents faces, and the reaction from the other parents and students at TKD that yes, even if you have a disability, you can participate and have fun and make progress in a sport. So much appreciation to our Master for letting us try this program a year and a half ago!
Missed the cut-off for the BCBA exam by one day and also 80 hours (I need 1500 hours of supervision). So I'll be waiting till March. But I'll have more time to study too (in theory at least!).
Adam is starting the year off flying to the moon. He (for the most part) has finally learned that if he takes a 10 minute break after getting home, then does his homework and focus on it then wow, hey, there is time to play!!!! before dinner and bed!!!! As opposed to arguing about said homework for 2 hours, still having to do it, dinner and bed. He usually has ONE math worksheet on Fridays - a whooping 20 minutes, but since it's Friday, he hasn't made the connection that the same principal applies on this day too. Always a work in progress. His teacher is amazing and has had many positive things to say about him (which, unfortunately we aren't always used to due to his weaknesses taking front and center stage so often). I could really get used to this (as I find some wood to knock on)!
And speaking of math - he's in the GT (gifted and talented) Center, which I knew meant math was one grade level above the actual grade he is in. But what I didn't know was that 6th graders learn 7th AND 8th grade math so that if they do well they go to Algebra I in 7th grade. My little 11 year old is learning Pre-Algebra!! And he's loving it! I think it fits his black and white mind so well. He's been hanging his tests on the fridge after each unit.

So, overall, life is pretty damn good right now. And instead of blogging about it, I've just been enjoying it. But I should be back soon. That balance between working full time and everything else has got a light at the end of the tunnel, and I think its the sun, not a train heading towards me.

To keep you busy in the meantime, though, head over to Every Day I Write the Book. I just finished reading the October EDIWTB book club selection - Cost by Roxana Robinson - a definite must to put on your to-read-list!

On Monday

2009-09-11T20:36:00.000-04:00

I start my new job. After several interviews with no offers, teachers reporting back to work, and kids going back to school, I finally got an offer.

The best part - it's a position that I did last year but now I'm contracted. A position I absolutely loved. A position that uses everything I learned in the ABA/BCBA coursework from the past 2 years.

Summer may be over, but I'm not sad. I'm excited to start this new adventure :)

The End Of Summer

2009-09-05T10:40:00.000-04:00

I haven't been around much this summer.

At least here on this blog.

But maybe in real life too.

It's been a long summer. Happy, stressed, frustrating, upsetting, relaxing, learning, and hopeful times.

I think I'll be ready to start writing again soon.

"The Dangerous Days of Daniel X: Watch The Skies"

2009-08-27T21:19:00.001-04:00

Once again, MotherTalk has offered me (well, actually Adam) a book to enjoy. Adam loved The Dangerous Days of Daniel X, and now James Patterson has written the second novel in the series.

And here's the scoop from Adam:

What did you think of the book?

I thought it was a really good book and it had a really interesting plot to it. I think that Number Five sounded really cool and I really want to have the powers and surgical operations that he had.

Who was your favorite character?

Daniel X - because he is so awesome at crime fighting and he knows all these martial arts and rocket launchers.

What was your favorite part of the book?

My favorite part was when Daniel X's Dad turns the minivan into a big giant computer tech crime fighting place. I also liked the part when he destroyed Number Five.

Compare the first book to the second book?

I think the second book was a little bit better because I was introduced to more characters. There is a lot more action and fighting too. I also liked the second book because it had a plot that caught my interest more.

Would you be interested in the series continuing?

Yes, I would love the series to continue.

What do you think will happen to Daniel X in the next book?

I think he will fight the vicious villain Number Four and work his way down to Number One.

Thanks MotherTalk & James Patterson for allowing Adam to review this book. Head over here to see what others are saying!

Obligatory Pre-Blogher Post

2009-07-22T08:31:00.000-04:00

Around the blogosphere are lots of posts about getting ready to go to Blogher. So I suppose I should do one too.

Except I'm not going. No particular reason. Just not going.

So - you all have fun, share stories, and have a few drinks for me. OK?

I'm Right Here, You're Right Here

2009-07-17T09:43:00.000-04:00

Right where we both belong. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Bumps in the road? Yup. Who doesn't? Do we flatten those bumps out? Yup. Are some bumps bigger than others? Yup. Sometimes the bumps pile up faster and faster, but we always flatten them somehow.

Last night we were sitting in a restaurant. I was talking about yet another friend who is getting a divorce. Adam commented that it seems like a new trend. What with both is aunts leaving their husbands this year and some other friends of ours splitting. You answered that you had no desire to join that trend. I immediately agreed. Adam smiled.

Marriage is work. But that doesn't mean it's not enjoyable. Somehow the concept of work brings negative thoughts. But you love your job - it's work, but you love it. Same here. And our marriage, our family? It's a job. It's work. But we love what we have built. We love what we have.

I'm right here, you're right here. Right where we both belong. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

This post has been inspired by Michael Miller's book What Happened to the Girl I Married? the July book club for the SV Moms Group. Michael writes about staying at home to learn what it's like for his wife. And by doing so, falls in love all over again with his wife and finds out what happened to the girl he married, as well as what happened to the husband he became.

What's In A Name?

2009-07-07T20:39:00.001-04:00

Three years ago we put Adam in a Mad Science Camp. He loves science. He need Help with his social skills. So, I thought, putting him in a camp where he had a huge interest in the topic might help him converse easier with the other kids. He went for 2 weeks. He loved it. He talked about the science experiments. He talked about the science topics. He never talked about the other kids. Unless it was because he escorted them to the bathroom or to get a drink of water. (The counselors allowed him this special privilege because he was also known as the 'Police Officer' and 'Mini-Bill Gates' - who better a kid to make sure they got back?)

On the last day of camp we said goodbye to the counselors and the other kids. Most of them all said, "Bye Adam." He just said, "Bye."

When we got to the car he asked me how they all knew his name. He was truly surprised that they had known it. I said, "Adam, you just spent 2 weeks with them. Don't you know their names?" He looked confused. "Why would I? I was there to do science."

The past 2 years he has made tremendous progress. We decided to give camp another try this summer. This time we enrolled him in TechAdventure Camp. Another topic of interest, hoping it would be easier to converse with the other kids, and that with the improved social skills he WOULD converse with the other kids.

I picked him up yesterday - the first day of camp.

"So, how was it?" I asked.

"We all got pedometers. And in photo shop they took pictures of us and we played around with them with some picture program. And during break I made a new friend. His name is Aiden. And he's in the same grade as me. And he's going to the same middle school as me in 2 years!" he said with a smile.

Today they shot elastics at each other during lunch. And he met a couple more kids.

What's in a name? So much.

Delurking?

2009-07-03T16:29:00.001-04:00

Hi all!
Just delurking to say hi.
Can the writer of her own blog technically delurk?

What I love about bedtime

2009-06-16T21:05:00.000-04:00

is that my just-about-done-with-5th-grade son still comes downstairs after he's brushed his teeth and insists that I come up and tuck him into bed.

Wounded by School?

2009-06-16T14:51:00.000-04:00

I'm over here talking about school wounds.

And This Time I Mean It

2009-06-12T21:01:00.001-04:00

Really. I really mean it this time.

This time I am going to exercise and eat better and stick with it.
I mean, seriously. Twenty - thirty minutes a day. Slightly smaller amounts of food at meals. Fruits for snacking.
How hard can it be? It's not.
And it works. I've seen the results.
And I like the results. I like how I look. How I feel. The increase energy. The happier moods.

But life. It gets in the way. Food is yummy. Sitting around is easy.

But then I gain back the weight I lose. I start not liking how I look. I start not liking how I feel.

But this time I am serious. This time I mean it. This time I am going to start up again and stick with it.

When Divorce Hits Home

2009-06-10T20:52:00.000-04:00

I'm over at DC Metro Mom's talking about divorce.
Whether a celebrity, a friend, or a family member, divorce is sad.

Can't Get Much Better Than This

2009-06-10T12:03:00.000-04:00

Adam was supposed to participate in a study at Kennedy Krieger Institute.

There were a few phases before he got his turn. We easily passed each phase to continue in the study.

Yesterday was Adam's turn. He was to have the ADOS, an IQ test, a lunch break and then a practice MRI to get ready for the MRI/social skills component today.

After 3 hours the tester came out with him and told me they would be ending at lunch time.
Adam doesn't qualify for the study.

Because when they gave him the ADOS, he scored outside the range for being anywhere on the Autism Spectrum. The tester saw NOTHING. Absolutely nothing.
I was speechless.
I know he's been doing well. I've even wondered if he is still on the spectrum. So many good weeks in a row. So many social and behavioral milestones met. So much hard work over the years with behavioral treatments.

Although it's not official - he'd need a comprehensive workup to rule out Aspergers/PDD, and he'd probably end up with ADHD and/or anxiety, it's real. He's really, truly is making huge gains.

We've been lucky. I was a special ed teacher working with kids on the spectrum before we had Adam. I've been able to take grad classes to help him. I've been able to take time off of work to focus on him. I've had time to read and research. There is so much to be said for knowledge and early intervention.

Which is why I was so saddened to see this article in the Washington Post yesterday.

More Books!

2009-06-07T20:01:00.000-04:00

I really wasn't kidding when I said I had been busy reading books since my grad classes ended. Or rather switched from assigned chapters to leisure reading.

Here's some more:
20 Boy Summer

and

Surviving High Society

More Things that suck

2009-06-06T07:10:00.000-04:00

Being on strong steroids and antibiotics for systemic poison ivy.

Things that suck

2009-06-04T15:18:00.000-04:00

Right now systemic poison ivy is right up there at the top of that list.

More Book Reviews

2009-06-03T22:15:00.000-04:00

A summer-time must read

And

A book for those curious about implementing the gluten-free/casein-free diet.

Book Reviews

2009-06-01T22:46:00.000-04:00

One for the adults

and

One for the kids.

Hope you enjoy!

More coming soon!

2009-05-29T17:00:00.000-04:00

I have about 10 books to review. Yup. I've been really busy reading since my grad classes have ended 4 weeks ago. But I've also had extra time to read. Adam has been home for the last 2 weeks. And a few days missed 2 weeks before that too

Reviews and the story of why he's missed so much school will be coming shortly.

Until then, I'll leave you with this (from the lovely lady who provides me with books to read) as a preview of one of the books I'll be reviewing real soon:

HELP! I've Been Working Out Like Crazy, Eating Right and STILL Can't Lose Weight

A Do-Now, 4-Step Guide to Kick Starting Summer Weight Loss

By Wendy Chant,

Author of Conquer the Fat-Loss Code

Few things in this life are as frustrating as working hard to look better, firm up or slim down and, after a few weeks -- or a few months -- of eating right and exercising STILL having nothing to show for it! But take heart; often it's just the few, simple things we do to "kick start" our program that can make all the difference.

And let's not forget: progress shows up on the inside first and the outside second! All that hard work and effort is creating a healthier, heartier, stronger you, even if you can't see it right away. With spring nearly over and beach weather almost here, sometimes we just need a pre-summer "booster shot" to make sure that our outside catches up in time for bikini season.

The following 4-Step Guide will help you find the hidden saboteurs in your current diet and fitness plan and help you overcome the spring plateau to find you facing summer with a brand new you -- inside AND out:

Step 1 – Hit the "Reset" Button: When something isn't working, it's insanity to keep doing what isn't paying off. If the scale isn't budging, if your pants still feel the same around the middle, if you know you've been trying your hardest and nothing is simply working, stop beating your head against the same brick wall and start all over again. That's right; hit the "reset" button. Treat tomorrow like the first day -- not the 101st -- and use this time to reexamine how you're approaching whatever system you've been using. Don't see it as a failure but as a new opportunity to reinvigorate and reexamine your current plan for cracks and leaks to see what might be going wrong.
Step 2 – Write it Down: The best way to start from scratch is to go back and start writing down everything you put in your mouth for a few days. You may or may not have done this at the beginning of your program but, if so, do it again. Oftentimes we work so hard at the basics -- setting the alarm, exercising, cutting out one food group, etc. -- that we let other bad habits slip in, forgetting that our after-work out smoothie has more fat grams, sugar and calories than breakfast and lunch combined. It is often these systematic saboteurs that can derail an otherwise healthy fitness plan and the only way to properly identify them is to see them, in black and white, in a Food Diary.
Step 3 – Give it Up: If, thanks to Step 2, you notice that those granola bars you've been nibbling on for breakfast are packing a whopping 340-calories and 16 grams of fat, not to mention 23 grams of sugar, try something else for a week and see if you notice a difference in either your weight or the fit of your pants. If you do everything the same and, one-by-one eliminate or replace one item at a time, like a sugary-sweet "healthy" granola bar or a calorie and fat-packed "health" smoothie, you have probably just identified your plateau culprit and by eliminating or replacing it you will see more and more progress as the weeks go by.
Step 4 – Switch It Around: Lastly, the body doesn't respond well to routine. By that I mean the Law of Adaptation states that if you do the same thing, at the same pace, at the same time, for the same length of time every single day, even if it's something absolutely great for you like walking around the block six times or riding your bike for 35-minutes, your body WILL adapt and the exercise won't be as effective. It's always good to keep your body, and the Law of Adaptation, on their toes by switching up your workouts, your pace, your duration, even your mealtimes to keep the body active, your metabolism perky and your diet and fitness goals on track.

As you can see, as hard as you work, if you're not paying attention to those little details they can easily sneak up and derail all your hard work and effort. But fear not; now you have the tools -- four of them to be exact -- to be alert and vigilant for these fitness foes and diet disasters to look and feel great anytime of the year.

Author Bio

Wendy Chant, author of Conquer the Fat-Loss Code, is a certified personal trainer and a specialist in performance nutrition. She holds a bachelor of science degree in medical science and nutrition science. A champion bodybuilder, she opened her own training center, ForeverFit® , in 1998.

For more information please visit http://www.joinforeverfit.com/

Sick?

2009-05-07T12:15:00.000-04:00

Tuesday Adam went home sick from school. It wasn't too much of a surprise. He woke up with a runny nose, but I made him go because he had a science quiz. I told him he had to take it and could go to the nurse afterwards if he wasn't feeling better. So, he took his quiz and went to the nurses office.

Tuesday night he started a low grade fever, so I kept him home Wednesday. Wednesday he woke up with a low grade fever, but it was gone by lunch and hasn't returned. But I kept him home today in case it did. Cuz I'm an awesome Mom that listens to the 24-hour-free-fever-rule.

Well, that and tonight my last project is due and it's also my final. So I really didn't mind missing work. Gives me some time to study more, and spend time with Adam more (since he has definitely been neglected some this semester).

I thought he was feeling better today. But then he went and cleaned out his backpack ON HIS OWN. He threw out tons of papers, and sorted those that were left into their proper notebooks.

THEN he took a paperbag from the grocery store and made a mask out of it. An art project. My son does not do art projects. At all. And all the while telling me how much better paper is than plastic. Not just for the environment, but for mask making. Because, you know Mom, it's really not easy or a good idea to make masks out of plastic bags.

He has no fever. His runny nose is just about gone. He's not really sick anymore. But I can't say he's acting normal either!

Moms and Food

2009-05-07T08:58:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Devra and Sarah, the DC Metro Moms enjoyed a lovely night out at The Good Stuff Eatery. Eating. Talking. Meeting Spike from Top Chef.

This blogging thing brought us all together. We are all moms. We all come from different walks of life, have different opinions, are parenting children of many different ages and needs, yet this doesn't put up dividers in our ability to be friends. Because we are all Moms. The sisterhood of moms.

And as we approach Mother's Day, what a better way to celebrate than to recognize the sisterhood of moms.

Quaker kindly sponsored our evening, But more importantly also made a donation to the Capital Area Food Bank (which Devra, Sarah, and Spike are also involved in). The Food Bank is always in need of donations. With the economy in the state it is, people are turning to community services and public assistance and more than ever.

I remember as an elementary and middle school child going with my Mom into New Haven to help serve dinners to homeless Moms and their children. My Mom always reminded me that it wouldn't take much for us to be on the other side of the serving table. I could easily be that child never knowing where my next meal would be.

That message that it doesn't take much to be on the other side has always stayed with me. And despite having a job and some money saved up, I know that it wouldn't take too many series of unfortunate events to end up there. And as a mother, struggling to feed her child, I would be grateful to companies like Quaker who are taking a role in helping those in need.

Why we're looking into social skills groups now

2009-05-02T21:09:00.000-04:00

Adam doesn't have an IEP. He does have a 504 Plan. And for the most part, it really is all he needs. Because he's in the GT program, it's hard to show where the educational impact of Aspergers comes in. Because, for him, academics are not the issue.

For him, his area of weakness is social skills and organization. He can greet and have conversations, and in several settings appear typical to an untrained eye. But he definitely has his moments.

One of them was this week. He came home very upset. As in got his stuffed animal and rocked (I've never seen this reaction before). Seems at the end of lunch while his class was waiting for the teacher to pick them up from the cafeteria he went over to a peer and the peer pinched and pushed him away. Adam left, but then returned and was once again pushed. He left and returned for a third time to which the peer told him to go away.

I asked him why he kept going back if he was getting pushed. Adam told me it was because he wanted to talk with some of the kids that were congregated. He told me after the 2nd time it occurred to him that maybe if he stopped singing the others wouldn't mind him being there.

"Wait, you were singing Adam?"

"Yes"

"What were you singing?"

"The National Anthem"

"Ummm, why?"

"I just wanted to see if I still remembered all the words. Then I thought that was why they didn't want me there. Because maybe they didn't want to hear that song."

Adam's been having more interactions with peers this year that start off OK (well, OK, this one was doomed from the start), but after the initial conversation Adam has difficulty reading others cues, or when there is more than 2 kids with Adam in the conversation.

We alsy happened to have a doctor's appointment this week. For the first time his pediatrician recommended social skills groups, and I'm thinking he might be right.

But here is my concern with social skills groups: you stick a bunch of atypical kids in a room to learn and practice contrived situations. And then you send them home. There is no one to monitor the child practicing to give corrective feedback or praise in the natural setting. Which is why we've never signed him up for them before. And because there is no educational impact he doesn't get special services in school (and honestly, to work on this particular skill, in a natural setting without a teacher making it look obvious to the peers would be VERY difficult).

I've always worked on the skills with Adam 1:1 with a rationale, model, and practice; and then worked on them with him with play dates. And it's worked. But he's getting older. He doesn't always want me with his play dates. And he hangs outside more with the neighborhood kids. It's getting harder for me to do this.

It just may be time to try a social skills group.

*the student pushing him did have a consequence of having to eat in the principals office the next day.

Then Came Thursday. Again.

2009-05-02T20:51:00.000-04:00

I started the week off great - losing only 1 pound, but noticing I was CONSTANTLY pulling my pants up because they were too loose in the waist!

This week I stuck with:
- Jillian Michael's No More Trouble Zones
OR
-bike riding for 45 minutes and Shred Level 1

I REALLY wanted to get some running in, but it was either way to hot or raining. It needs to stop raining (for about a week now, with about 4 more days forecasted) so I can start the 5K in 6 weeks program. I can already run for 30 min straight, but I have no idea if I'm running 1 mile or 5. I need to track it and then set a goal to raise it.

But back to this week, I was doing great with one of the options Sun - Wed then came Thursday (I have grad class) and Friday (I'm wiped from the week) and Saturday (busy with errands and stuff). My final is this Thursday and my goal is to somehow come up with a plan to keep exercising at the end of the week. I'm great at sticking to it Sun - Wed, but fall apart Thurs - Sat. I see results Sun - Wed, and plateau Thurs - Sat. You'd think it'd be motivation to workout Thurs - Sat, but it's not yet.

Ideas fellow shredders?

Embarrassing

2009-04-28T14:26:00.001-04:00

This week the SV Mom's Group is talking about Suzanne Guillette's book Much to Your Chagrin: A Memoir of Embarrassment.

This book has lots of stories about people's embarrassing moments and other Mom's are blogging about theirs.

So, what's mine you ask?

Not gonna say. Weird, uh? Here I am blogging to the world about this and that, yet I don't feel comfortable sharing an embarrassing moment with you.

Maybe because although I blog, in real life I am extremely shy. Extremely. Shy. And because something may be embarrassing to me, maybe you'll think it's stupid or silly. And because I'm shy I'll take it extra personally. Or something. I dunno.

Or maybe it's because I've tucked them all away in my mind. I mean, who WANTS to remember embarrassing moments!

I did enjoy the book. Honestly, though, not at first. The second person tone kinda turned me off at first. But as I got into the story the story hooked me.

This post was inspired by the Silicon Valley Moms Blog book club selection, Much to Your Chagrin by Suzanne Guillette. Other people may be much more braver than I in sharing their embarrassing moments.

The Human Yo-Yo

2009-04-26T18:04:00.000-04:00

Yo-yo (as defined by Dictionary.com)
1 .a spool like toy consisting of two thick wooden, plastic, or metal disks connected by a dowel pin in the center to which a string is attached, one end being looped around the player's finger so that the toy can be spun out and reeled in by wrist motion.
2. something that fluctuates or moves up and down, esp. suddenly or repeatedly.

Human Yo-yo (as defined by me)
1. A human that fluctuates or moves up and down, especially suddenly or repeatedly in the area of weight gain and loss

How To Create A Human Yo-yo:
1. Shred and lose 8 pounds
2. Have a birthday and luck out with THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW OF DATES with your husband. Which were spent dining out. Because, hello?!? Three nights of eating and talking with an adult?!?
3. Gain 5 pounds from said birthday fun.
4. Spring weather and motivation - lose 3 pounds from running and trying out other Jillian Michael's programs on On Demand.
5. Lose 3 pounds from motivation.
6. Gain 4 pounds in 36 hours. WTF?!? Where did that come from? Dude, I know I ate a lot the weekend before, but I worked out, ate better and lost most of it!
7. Wake up the next day with cramps and realize it's not really weight gain - it's bloatedness. Yup - you can guess what it's from.
8. Continue to exercise and eat well and unbloat.
9. Lose 4 pounds.
10. Continue to exercise and eat well.
11. Lose another 2 pounds.
12. Net loss of 8 pounds.

Hence, I have become the Human Yo-yo.

I have definitely noticed improved endurance. Before I'd run for 30 -45 minutes, but it was really run for a song, walk for half a song, run for a song or two, walk for a song. For the past 2 weeks I've been able to run for 30 minutes with NO stopping!

And I've decided that I really like Jillian Michael's. I have been trying out some other exercise programs on On Demand. I keep returning to Jillian Michael's. It's something about the way she motivates that really works for me. And her pointers on keeping form - belly button to the ground, toes pointed that really help me get the most of her workouts. Team Jillian it is for me.

Stay tuned for what this Human Yo-yo does next!

What Really Matters In Life?

2009-04-14T08:24:00.000-04:00

This one is for Maddie, Thalon and their families. Remember what really matters in life.

Spring Break

2009-04-08T12:46:00.000-04:00

It's spring break.

Despite the snow flurries we had yesterday. Which, along with the wind and cloudiness is not putting me in the mood to work on the yard. Which was one of my goals for Spring Break.

Another goal - to keep shredding. Not happening. Last weekend was my birthday and hubby and I managed to go out to dinner Friday, Saturday AND Sunday! Friday Adam had TKD class, a weapons class and Demo Team practice - so a mini-date it was for us. On Saturday Adam had a 2 hour bday party at dinner time - so, we went out to dinner. And Sunday, not expecting our Friday and Saturday treats, we had booked a babysitter a while back. Movie and a dinner it was for us! Which means I have LOTS of shredding to do. Lots. But I'm just not motivated to right now. Not sure why - I was doing so good keeping up a stable exercise plan and eating right.

Another goal - to catch up on school work - that has been happening - lots of reading and papers are being written.

Another goal - to have fun with Adam - that has been happening. He's been having a blast playing with the neighborhood kids and watching lots of TV. Interestingly, no Nick or Disney or whatever channel it is that shows Zoey 101 and Carly and those other preteen shows. He's been watching Discovery, Smithsonian and National Geographic and not getting enough of them!

So, although we aren't going anywhere fancy, we sure have been having some fun just hanging out!

Shred, Shred and more Shredding

2009-03-27T22:38:00.000-04:00

Well, maybe not that much shredding. But, progress none the less!

This week I stayed at Level 1 again. I need to move up because although Level 1 isn't easy, it certainly has become comfortable to do and I really like the flow of Level 1.

I was able to go for two 30 minute runs and do the Shred 3 times this week. No change on the scale,

BUT (drum role........)

this morning I was able to fit into a size 4 pants I haven't been able to in over a year. I had actually tried this pair a little more than a week ago and couldn't get them past my mid-thighs. Two months ago - I had to buy a size 10 pants!

Definitely seeing decreased size/toning in the stomach, thighs and arms.

So, despite no movement on the scale, this morning was certainly a huge motivator to keep going!

Happy Spring (and 3 days)!

2009-03-22T19:22:00.000-04:00

Signs of spring are sprouting up around the yard!

And spring wouldn't be complete without a Momma Bird making a nest....

for her new little baby bird!

Welcome to theShredheads

2009-03-20T20:49:00.000-04:00

So. Lots of my blogging friends have joined I'll Stop the World and Shred With You.

I actually joined them about 2 months ago, but they didn't know. I guess I'm sorta coming out of the closet. Or rather finally getting around to officially join them.

Here's some of the basic Shredhead info:

1. Pics - not motivated enough to take them, download them and post them. You'll have to use your imagination here.

2. Tag Line - MyLossAsItIs @ MyLifeAsItIs

3. Weight - started at 130. Which probably sounds like a decent weight. Except I'm only 5 feet all. And before I got pregnant I was 118, which was slightly more than when I got married. I only gained 25 pounds with Adam, and was extremely fortunate that all but 5 pounds was gone by his 5 day check up. Those last 5 pounds were easily lost. And that was 10 years ago. And, in fact, 2 years ago I was down to 112. After lots of running and kickboxing. I felt the best I had in years. Then I found out I had extremely high cholesterol. And because I was already fit and eating right it was straight to meds for me. Then I gained 1o pounds in one month. Stopped meds. Plateaued. Tried a different med. Gained another 10 pounds. Stopped meds. Plateaued. Which put me up to 132 this past Christmas, with high cholesterol and a poor response to meds. I weighed more than I did when I came home from the hospital with a newborn!

4. Goal - to get back down to 112. Yup. 20 pounds.

5. Diet Plan - to increase fruits and veges - especially on the days I don't Shred. And decrease portions of food for all meals.

6. Personal Rules - to do my best.

7. Shred Plan - I started this back at the end of January. And I'm proud to say I've already lost 7 pounds! I don't do it every day. I wish I could. But I simply don't have the time, despite it being only a 20 minute workout. I try to get in 3-4 times a week of Shredding.

I started on Level 1 for about 2 weeks and moved to Level 2. It was OK. It was a lot of up and down. And with a heart condition the up and down was making me dizzy. So I moved to Level 3. I like that one a lot. But some days I ride the bike for 20 minutes before shredding and on those days I do Level 1. I like Level 1. I like the flow and the workout.

I know I could probably lose more if I did it more than 3-4 times a week, but that is what I comfortably have time for. And so far I've been happy with the weight loss as well as the slimming of the stomach and arms, and the looser feel of the clothes.

It's motivation to keep me going.

Do you want to join in on the fun too?

To Have Gluten or Not, That Is The Question, Part III

2009-03-15T17:44:00.001-04:00

And slowly, that question is getting answered (for a quick recap, see Part I and Part II).

Adam had the blood tests - no Celiacs Disease :) Which means it's just an intolerance. So much easier to monitor. And what a relief for Adam! We've already replaced cereal and snacks to gluten free versions. It always amazes me how much gluten free food there is popping up. And because it's not a true allergy, very small traces are acceptable. The upside to gluten free foods is that there often organic and have no added junk to them. As Hubby pointed out, we all eat better when he's on the gluten diet.

In just a week his head banging at bedtime is starting to decrease. Random noises are turning into repeated phrases (which are easier to fade out). He's had 2 successful playdates this weekend.

Last night we sprung an outing to an Irish Restaurant with live music. We had mentioned we might go there this weekend. He was able to handle it with just a little bit of whining (we did leave in the middle of Sponge Bob), but once there he had a great time.

Two steps forward, one step back. And the journey of life continues.

Your Child's Strengths

2009-03-15T16:52:00.000-04:00

The kind folks over at FSB Associates have once again asked me to review a book for them. Your Child's Strengths - A Guide for Parents and Teachers is writen by Jenifer Fox.

I'll admit, at first my motives were selfish - I'd read the book, write a review and apply the strategies with my son. And I do plan on doing so.

However, I wasn't expecting to agree so much with Ms. Fox! Her focus is that schools are negative - focusing on the weakness of its students. We put labels on kids. We focus on their errors. And, as an educator, I've got to agree with her!

Instead, she focus on identifying children's stengths based on 3 areas (activity, relationship and learning) and nurting them. In her book she shares with the readers how to identify those strengths, and then how to make them even stronger. She include a practical workbook to practice these skills. Ending the book is an outline for the Affinities curriculum (Ms. Fox has implemented this in her school with positive results).

Her approach is easy. Her writing is simple. Her method is built on positive strategies. What more could you ask for?

See for yourself, here is an excerpt from her book:

The Strengths Code

by Jenifer Fox,

Author of Your Child's Strengths: A Guide for Parents and Teachers

In the early years, parents can do four things to set the stage for a child's self-discovery:
-Record observations of preferences, quirks, and choices
-Stimulate imagination through creative play
-Create rich memories with tradition and ritual
-Model positive attitudes and positive approaches to life

It's never too early for you to begin molding your child's memories and his imaginations. A positive environment will give your child a sense of security and confidence, and your child will appreciate your observations -- even if he disagrees with them.

Remember, strengths are not talents or skills, or what your children are good at. All those things are open to evaluation and criticism. Strengths are far more personal -- they are the activities that make someone feel strong. Your child may be good at doing math problems, but unless she feels energized by that activity, a course of study or a career choice that has a heavy focus on solving mathematical problems will probably not yield a passion for the work or a happy life. Children begin life with a strong desire to please, but they don't go through adolescence that way. Beware: a child may abandon the pursuit of a true strength if he believes you chose it for him or it is something you are attempting to impose. When I was in fifth grade, my mother dragged me to an acting class, insisting I would love acting. At that time in my life, I was reluctant to do or try anything she suggested. The more she insisted acting was my true calling in life, the more I resisted. Years later, after I interviewed for my first teaching job, the principal called, offering me the position of high school drama teacher. I told him he must have made a mistake, I had interviewed for the English teaching job. He said he thought I would make a great drama teacher and asked if I would give it a try, which I did. I loved teaching acting, which led to my own acting with a community theater. Later on in this chapter I will give you suggestions about how to encourage without pushing so you don't accidentally steer a child away from a strength.

Your role in the development of your young child's strengths should be more like a personal assistant than a boss. You can think of this relationship in the same way Michelangelo thought of his sculptures. He saw a slab of stone and knew that a masterpiece was inside it, begging to come out. His job was to see it and release it. The strengths are already in your child. Your job is to help your child see and release them.

The above is an excerpt from the book Your Child's Strengths: A Guide for Parents and Teachers by Jenifer Fox. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.

It's just not you I'm ignoring

2009-03-06T16:54:00.000-05:00

It's my son now too.
As an autism behavior resource teacher I travel to a lot of schools. And my cell phone doesn't always work in all of them.
So today I missed the call from my son's school nurse that he had vomited and needed to be picked up.
My husband didn't miss his call so he got him. And took him home.
Me - I was busy at work and didn't even notice the phone message until 4 hours later. By the time I had gotten home he had also started a fever. He's now napping after being given some Tylenol.
I feel like I won The Worst Mother Of The Year Award today.

To Have Gluten Or Not, That Is The Question, Part II

2009-02-27T17:57:00.000-05:00

A while back, I posted Part 1 of To Have Gluten Or Not, That Is The Question. That weekly point sheet he had in school? He failed it in January and February. It kept track of him completing work and interacting positively with his peers for each academic subject. The 3 weeks before Christmas break and no gluten? B, B+ and A. After Christmas break and on gluten? B, C, C-, D, F, F, C. His teacher was not told he was eating foods with gluten.

So, Monday we head back to the doctor for a consult to discuss the stomach issues. Hubby and I have seen a huge increase in rigidity, needing agendas, difficulty with change, low tolerance to social situations and changes in routines, head banging to go to sleep, during the night and while he's waking up, red ears, bumps on his upper arms and lots of sitting on the toilet for long amounts of times.

Ya know, when I am talking with other parents it is so easy to give them good, practical advice that works for their kids. When I go into a classroom I can quickly access an issue and come up with a solution for the teacher to implement to teach a pro-social behavior to a student and decrease an inappropriate behavior. I can help them foster communication and social skills with their students. And its easy. So very easy for me.

But Adam. This stuff is so hard when it's your own. Whether we find a medical reason or not, it's becoming very clear he simply can not handle being on gluten. Meeting his behavioral needs is taking up so much energy. The constant agenda's he needs. The meltdowns if someone can't play with him. The rigidity that things must.be.done. this.way or a meltdown. If something is changed a meltdown. Oh, the metldowns. It's so painful to be him right now. And so painful to parent him right now. Because inside I hurt so much too. My heart hurts so much for him. I truly hate that life is so hard for him and that I can't kiss him and make it better.

Bedtime

2009-02-03T21:49:00.001-05:00

It's only 9:30, but I'm way too tired to write my paper, or read the few chapters and articles I still have left for Thursdays classes. I'm even too tired to play around on Facebook and Twitter.

I really miss the days of undergrad (and even grad school) when I could work a full day, attend classes, get some studying done and then head out for a night of fun.

When did getting old happen?

Talking about Snow Days

2009-01-30T13:21:00.000-05:00

over here at DC Metro Moms today. Come join me!

Life Moments With A Child On The Spectrum #9

2009-01-29T16:01:00.000-05:00

Today Adam had a math worksheet on comparing numbers using percents.

One problem read:
If Jay has $20 and Mitchell has $80, what percent of Mitchell's money does Jay have?

Adam's answer:
Jay doesn't have any of Mitchell's money.

And this is a perfect example of how his literalness interferes with his education.
He had no problem with the other examples.
(What percent of a yard is a foot, If Carlos makes $480 a month and spends $120 a month for rent, what percent of his income does he spend on rent).

Had he put his answer to Jay's money on a test it surely would have been wrong. And his teacher may not have seen the humor in it either.

He can do the work. Heck, he had solved all the math problems in his head correctly before I had finished reading the problem. But only if they couldn't be taken literally.

Psst

2009-01-16T10:59:00.000-05:00

I'm over here today, pondering New Years Resolutions.

Pre and Post 9/11

2009-01-15T21:36:00.000-05:00

Tonight the Prez (per CNN), "He discussed the attacks of September 11, 2001, saying, "As the years passed, most Americans were able to return to life much as it had been before 9/11. But I never did."

I don't know about you, but as I was reading the headlines of a plane down in the Hudson River tonight, my first thoughts were 9/11 and was this the beginning of something similar happening again. I think he underestimates how much 9/11 changed more than him.

Time

2009-01-11T11:34:00.000-05:00

At bedtime last night:

Me: Adam, speed it up - put the toys away so you can get into bed.
Adam: Cleaning up takes some time. You can't speed up time Mom.

To Have Gluten Or Not, That Is The Question

2009-01-08T13:25:00.001-05:00

A little more than 2 years ago we put Adam on the Gluten Free Casein Free (GFCF)diet. He was allowed no gluten (wheat, barely, rye) or dairy. None. Zip. Luckily we live in an area where finding alternative foods was easy. We soon found there really was nothing he couldn't have - just had to be a GFCF version.

We did this because in the Autism Community there is a lot of talk of improvement with this diet. My thought was hey - I'm not putting something in him, so it can't hurt. And it didn't. And we noticed improvements. Within 3 weeks. Small things - like he stopped chewing on his shirts. He sat when doing classwork. He reduced his random noises big time. He reduced his focus/preoccupation on nontraditional/developmental appropriate objects. He started asking for playdates. And he knew every one's name in his class for the first time. Little things that impeded his communication, social development and behavior faded away. His teacher noticed a difference too. There were a few days I'd give him something he shouldn't have had and not told his teacher. Sure enough those days she came by my room to let me know he had been 'off' that day.

As much as we believed the diet was leading to this significant and positive outcomes, I always questioned it. I mean really. You take out gluten and casein and autism 'symptoms' go away? And why?

The rational behind the diet is Leaky Gut Syndrome. Basically it means that your stomach has holes, and that because of the holes, nutrients - the protein from gluten and casein - leak into the bloodstream when they shouldn't. This then causes an opiate effect on the person. There are studies that show this with mice. Lots of folks think its the vaccinations that are tearing up the insides of these kids stomachs. I remembered that Adam had 2 of 3 shots of a Rotovirus vaccination that was recalled before he got the 3rd one due to stomach obtrusion in some kids. He also had Cdiff when he was 6 months and on his first round of antibiotics.

So it made sense that his stomach was torn up and needed healing. But I always thought, if gluten and casein proteins go through the holes, wouldn't other stuff and wouldn't that also have some kind of effect? Yet, on the other hand, he was doing well. Really, really well. And we hadn't changed anything else medication, educationally or behaviorally.

Every 6 months we'd let him cheat to see how he reacted. And within 45 min his ears were bright red, and he was acted more 'autistic' for the next day or so. But the last cheat, last spring, the ears were only red for 30 min and the behavior effects only lasted about 2 hours. Yea, I noticed something, but not much different than when a kid goes to a birthday party and has a lot of sugar.

Over the summer we decided to do some medical investigation. We took him to a Ped Gast who we liked immediately. He didn't dispute that kids on the spectrum often have stomach/bowel issues. But he didn't know why either. The scientific evidence just simply isn't there (yet). With the testing we found out he had the gene for Celiacs. But so do a lot of people. The only true way to find out if he had Celiacs would be to dump gluten in him, wait for a reaction and scope him. Something we really aren't willing to put him through.

But on the other hand, I really (and Adam) wanted to know if he would always have to be on this diet. So we let him having dairy - slowly at first. Maybe it was Celiacs and dairy would b fine. There were no negative reactions. He stayed the same behaviorally. So maybe it was just the gluten I thought. Maybe he really does have Celiacs, and because of the Aspergers, it exhibits a little different behaviorally than in others.

Before Christmas we were out of town at a holiday party. I forgot to pack breakfast for him. So he had regular cereal at our friends house. I didn't tell hubby because I knew I would be looking for a reaction, but he didn't know he was supposed to be. And there was no reaction. Neither of us noticed anything. (and yes I did tell him later that day).

So, we started letting him have gluten. Really slowly. Like cereals that only had a trace of it. Then a small portion of something gluten based. And we still haven't seen a reaction.

So. Now I'm wondering. Did he have Leaky Gut Syndrome and it has healed (websites report it takes about 2 years to heal). Did I fall victim to a fad diet? Am I wishfully thinking that all is fine now? Or, over the next few months as the gluten continues to pass through his stomach will we start seeing regression in his behavior and/or bowels.

I know that while he was on it he made significant progress in so many areas that were deficits due to Aspergers. I don't know if it was because of the diet. And I don't know what the future has in store for his eating.

Right now he is on a point system at school. He's been having problems focusing. I'm not attributing it to dairy. I'm attributing it to the fact that this year he is one of 32 in a trailer. His teacher has little experience with Aspergers. He was an organizational mess, not completing assignments and classwork, and a drop in his grades. He puzzled his teacher because when she asked him something he always knew the answer. His pretest scores on district tests aimed at the entire year of curriculum were a 97. On topics he hadn't been taught yet. So why did he have a few C's? So we put him on a point system more so I knew SHE was monitoring him more. She doesn't know that he is having gluten right now. We've been doing the point system for the 3 weeks before break. I'm really curious what this and next weeks points are going to look like.

Going Pink

2009-01-03T16:18:00.000-05:00

One of my New Year's resolutions it to help others more. Whether it's holding a door for a stranger behind me, going greener to help us all live in our environment or helping a cause that is important to my friends and myself.

Yesterday we decided that the vacuum cleaner we had died. We could no longer be in denial. It was dead. It was time for a new one. So off to Target I went.

I'm not really picky about vacuum cleaners. This time I ended up with a Dyson. And it's pink. It's pink because Dyson is contributing a portion of the sales to help fight Breast Cancer. And you know what? I feel like I've already made a difference this year. A small difference, but a difference none the least.

And I chose to go pink because of my friend WhyMommy and all the great stuff she's doing to raise awareness. I don't like to vacuum. Who does really?!? But now when I am vacuuming with my pink vacuum I am hopeful that someone else is also able to vacuum because they too are a survivor thanks to awareness and research. And the fact that someone else IS vacuuming because they are survivor is something to be very thankful for. Because if they are vacuuming, they are also living.

The Mommy Blogger Who Cried Wolf

2008-12-31T19:45:00.000-05:00

Remember the story of the little boy who cried wolf? Kept saying there was a wolf, the village got all scared and there was no wolf. Rinse. Repeat. Several times. And then when there really was a wolf no one believed him?

Since I've gone back to work, on top of taking a grad class and being a Mommy and Wife, blogging has gone out the window. But I kept promising I'd come back. Rinse. Repeat. And I don't. I'm beginning to feel like the Mommy Blogger Who Cried Wolf. And that when I actually post some Real Content no one will be here to believe me.

So - here goes some Real Content. And yes, it's New Years Eve and here I am blogging. But that's because our New Years Eve event got cancelled. Our neighborhood has a count down to 8:15pm each New Years Eve. Roasting hot dogs and marshmallows on the fire pit in the cul-de-sac. Kids running around with glow sticks and silly string. And at 8:14pm the countdown to 8:15 begins. (this allows little ones to go to bed having participated in a modified count down and/or parents to head out to the adult parties).

But OhMyGod! it's cold out. And OhMyGod! it's windy out. So it was cancelled. Which I was actually quite pleased about.

So, me and my warm hot chocolate with butterscotch schnapps are inside the house chilling in front of the TV with Adam who is drinking his hot chocolate. And we're getting ready to watch Stonehenge on the Smithsonian channel.

Yea, we're kinda geeky like that sometimes.

And I'm Back!!

2008-12-14T14:54:00.000-05:00

I'm back!! My class is now finished and wow - this weekend has gone by sooo slow!! It's amazing how much time that class sucked up! Loved it. Learned so much. And best of all, I'm really able to apply the behavior stuff to my job (and Adam). I really got something out of the class personally.

So, watch out. Now that I'm back I'm also going to have time posting all that exciting stuff going on in my life, just as it is!

Mommy's High Heel Shoes

2008-12-14T14:22:00.000-05:00

I fellow co-writer of the SV Mom's Group has written a delightful children's book. Kristie offered me a copy to review.

I didn't read this to Adam, it just wasn't quite his type of book. BUT, my 2 1/2 year old niece - totally perfect for her! Especially since she just had a new sister arrive at her house and her Mom is getting ready to go back to work full time. And especially because ever since she could crawl she has a constant obsession for getting into any adult female shoe, especially work shoes! I couldn't have asked for a better book to read to my niece.

Although the story itself was a little above her head, the pictures are very engaging. In the story Mommy leaves to go to work. Her young daughter has fun staying behind playing with Mom's shoes. My nieces favorite part was finding the cupcake, ladybug and heart that are hidden on each page. She also loved all the different types of shoes.

My sister reports it has become one of her favorite books to look through. I know in the next few months she'll be able to grasp the story plot more and more, and each reading will engage her more and more in different ways.

Kristie Finnan also has a blog and website related to the book. Be sure to check out the shop to buy accessories to the book!

And Kristie - my sister and I both thank you for this children's book. We can't wait to see your next one!!

Cross posted to Yup - Another Review Blog.

Advice please?

2008-12-01T20:05:00.000-05:00

OK. Seriously. How do people work and find time to do everything else and then time to blog? I'm swamped over here! But it's taking every hour of each day to stay afloat and still not leaving enough time in the day for fun stuff (like blogging!).
So, seriously - HOW do you people maintain blogs when you work full time on top of being a mommy?

Why is there only 24 hours in a day?

2008-11-24T22:04:00.000-05:00

Wow. Look. It's me. I'm posting. I'm alive. Really. I am.
I'm just trying to find more than 24 hours in a day so I can fit everything in.

So, until I find more time I'll leave you with an update on Adam.

He's in the 5th grade. That's the grade this county starts Family Life Education (FLE). You know. Sex ed. The kid freaked out. So much so that I got a call from the nurse on the day it was too start saying he should go home due to a stomach ache and headache. Kid got himself so worked up he got a stomach ache (and lied about the headache for good measure)!

Then upon his confession (or rather us busting him), and us pointing out that he isn't going to hear anything he hasn't already. he pointed out that because our (conservative) county can't tell the kids everything, he didn't want to go and get misinformed. (They can't talk about birth control, oral sex or masturbation - EVEN if a kid asks). So, he'd just rather refer to us for info and not have to hear such information from his teacher and a room full of boys.

So, hubby and I only felt it our duty to make sure he gets informed completely. We watched Juno tonight with him. I think Parenthood will be next. We're great parents aren't we?

The White Trash Mom Handbook

2008-11-11T21:19:00.000-05:00

Wednesday the SV Mom's Group I contribute to is hosting another Book Club. They are featuring The White Trash Mom Handbook, written by Michelle Lamar (of Every Mother Is A Working Mother and also a contributor to the SV Mom's Group).

This quick, honest and humorous book is a must read for all Moms.

One chapter I personally related to was the chapter on after-school activities for the White Trash Family. I'll admit, Adam does participate in a sport, and it's a continuous sport that does take up time. But, he can also choose not to go to class if he is having a play date, extra homework or just wants to play at home. It's one of the huge reasons I love this sport. It can take up as little or as much time in our lives as we want it too, and our participation can change as our family needs change.

Every now and then Adam will talk about playing another sport like a friend does. But honestly, I'm not sure how he would balance everything and still be a kid. I like that he has time for impromptu play dates with the kids in the neighborhood. I like that he has time to play with his hot wheel cars and Lego's. I like that he has time to curl up on the couch and really get into a book. I like that he has time to play video games (just don't let him know that - he'll want more time). I like that when he goes to TKD class it's because he wants to go because he enjoys it. And not just the sport aspect of it too.

There is much talk of Mommy Guilt. I don't want my son to have Child Guilt and not feel that he didn't have enough time to play as a child because his parents structured his activities to fill up his every waking hour. I guess that makes me a White Trash Mom. But I'm OK with that too.

What I Did On A Friday Night

2008-11-07T21:33:00.000-05:00

I've been back to work full time for 2 weeks now. It's an adjustment to balance work, child, hubby, school, housework and life. And when certain things aren't done I don't feel like I've got good control and balance.

But tonight I cleaned the fridge. And now I'm posting about it.

(Sad what I do on a Friday night.)

But, I somehow feel much better knowing that at least my fridge is clean again.

On this day

2008-11-04T14:43:00.001-05:00

This morning I voted. I brought Adam with me. No matter who wins, history is being made. And I hope Adam always remembers putting his hand on my wrist as I pushed the final button to submit my vote. Because I am not only voting for me. I am voting for his future and his children's future.

Life Moments With A Child On The Spectrum #8

2008-10-27T19:53:00.000-04:00

Adam was getting ready to do his homework. A project from his geography unit. He had to draw a birds eye map of one floor in our house.

Adam - Mom, Dad, I'll need a ladder and some duck tape.

Mom - Why do you need that to do you your homework?

Adam - How else am I to get a bird's eye view of the floor if I don't climb a ladder and duck tape myself to the ceiling?

Greeny and George

2008-10-24T13:42:00.000-04:00

A couple of years ago Adam found an inch worm outside. And he fell in love with him. He named him Greeny. He got a container, filled it with grass and a moist paper towel, covered it with plastic and poked holes in it for air. Greeny's new home. He talked to him. He carried him around the house. After school he'd run up to his room and grab the Greeny's home. Outside he'd fill his toy wagon with grass and leaves. He'd put Greeny in the wagon and walk him around the yard. After all, all living creatures need fresh air, he'd tell us. He'd let Greeny crawl around on his hand and he'd ever so gently pet him. Greeny became his best buddy. His little pet. Greeny even got a few bed time stories read to him.

One day Greeny was gone when Adam woke up in the morning. I told him that maybe Greeny escaped and crawled through the open window to look for his family. This helped reassure him that although he couldn't have Greeny, Greeny was out there somewhere. And happy.

A week later Adam found Greeny. Under his bed was the shriveled up remains of an inch worm. The tears came. And came. And came.

As he grieved Greeny's untimely death he talked about wanting another pet. Hubby and I agreed. It was time for a pet. After all, Adam had completely proved to us he was willing to take care of another living creature, and had done so quite well and on his own.

Because of allergies dogs and cats were out. We decided on a lizard. Off to the pet store we went. Adam choose a Gecko Lizard. He named him George (yes - based off of Tom and Jerry's take of Of Mice And Men).

George has been with us for 1 1/2 years now. And I can honestly say, 90% of the time Adam feeds, waters and nurtures George on his own. At night time I often find him propped up on his bed watching George climb around his home. I've overheard conversations between the 2 of them. Conversations of small talk, talking to George and asking him how he is doing and also conversations where George becomes the listener and confident of Adam's worries and concerns.

And to think, it all started with a little 'ole inch worm found in the grass one day.

This post was written for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a sweepstakes sponsored by Burger King Corp.

Lazy or Motivated?

2008-10-22T13:52:00.001-04:00

Our basement is completely finished with a laundry room, rec room and a room (could be a bedroom, but because there is no exit outside on that level we can't legally call it that). It was hubby's computer room. His cave. He could play his shoot-n-kill-em games as loud as he wanted. He could make his 'comments' as loud as he wanted.

But he actually got lonely down there. And we miss seeing him. So, we converted one of the bedrooms upstairs to his new computer room. It's working out great.

Except the remains of the old computer room. We decided to turn it into the exercise room. That way the rec room is free of exercise equipment for when Adam and his friends are being wild. But the old computer room/new exercise room still has some computer stuff in it. And it also has a cardio thingy, a kickbag and my excesses bike in it. None of them usable. Because it's a half-exercise, half-computer, but-mostly-a-mess-of-a-room right now.

And I miss riding my bike. (I know, weird, but I read not-for-grad-class books when I ride - it's MY time. And I'm told that exercise will help one lose weight - although I'm still waiting on confirmation of this myth).

So, what does any of this have to do with lazy or motivated title above?

Well, I wanted to ride my bike. But I was too LAZY to clean/organize the room and/or move the bike into the rec room to ride it. So, instead I've been going on bike rides outside. As in 2 hour bike rides a few times this week. The weather has been perfect. The scenery -amazing. I absolutely love being outside this time of year with all the colors.

So - am I lazy (because I didn't want to take the energy required to move my bike so I could ride it), or motivated (because I've been going for longer rides outside instead)?

I'm Going Back

2008-10-21T09:22:00.000-04:00

To work. Full-time.
And I'm panicking.

Working part-time was WONDERFUL. The balance was incredible. But it just wasn't cutting it for those unexpected bills. An opportunity to go back full-time with the county and not in the classroom presented itself. A position similar to one I had years ago that I loved. And so I took it.

I start next Monday.

I only have this week left. To sleep. To do projects around the house. To read books. To be lazy. And all of a sudden there is So.Much.To.Do. Book reviews to write, more books to read and the review. Blog posts. Cleaning out closets. Catching up on scrap booking. And the fridge - how is it possible for the inside of a fridge to get so dirty? You put things in, you take them out. It's all wrapped up in a container of some sort. How does it manage to get so dirty?

I feel like I'm at the end of my pregnancy and nesting. And Stuff.Must.Get.Done.Right.Away! Because life as I know it will be changing next week.

Forgetful Lately

2008-10-15T12:30:00.000-04:00

Do you ever have a great topic, or even just a good topic for a post? But you're not at the computer? You're on your way out the front door, falling asleep, in the shower, in a store, in traffic instead? And then when you do get to your computer you've completely forgotten what it was?

Maybe I'll start carrying around a little memo pad for those moments. How obsessive would that be though?

YUM!!

2008-10-11T14:02:00.000-04:00

Via DC Metro Mom's, I was invited to a VIP Sneak Preview for Fresh City - Your Daily Eatery.

OK I thought - I'll go and grab a sandwich, collect a menu and maybe go back at some point.

There's no maybe with this one though. I will go back and lots. Good think it's only a 5-10 minutes drive from my house! (for those of you near Herndon, VA, its in the Clock Tower shopping center on Centreville)

What I truly liked about Fresh City is their selection of food. Like their name, it's fresh and lots of organic stuff too! But the menu is not full of dishes that I wouldn't know how to pronounce or be leery of trying. It's basic soups, sandwiches, salads, burritos and stir frys - great American food, but good, quality food (and did I mention lots of organic choices too?).

I meet the talented Julie (of Darling Hill) and her adorable children for lunch on Friday. The staff was great, the service was great and being an opening weekend servers came around with samples of cookies and smoothies to try too. When you walk it there are menus on the walls. After deciding what you want to you go to that 'station' to order it. They give you a number and bring the food to your table when it's ready. I tried the New England Clam Chowder (I am from New England, so why not?!). It was yummy! Creamy, lots of potatoes and clams. I also had the Asiago Roast. Their bread - so yummy too!

Their website if very user-friendly. With Adam being on a gluten free diet I always have to check out a restaurant ahead of time to see if it will work for his limited diet. Fresh City's website was very easy to find the gluten free list, and I was very happily surprised to see such a huge selection of menu items he can eat there too!

I do believe this will become a fast favorite of ours on those nights we don't feel like cooking!

Thanks Fresh City for lunch!!

What is it with this window?

2008-10-09T13:40:00.000-04:00

It's really just Joe Shmoe average window in a family room looking out at the backyard. There is really nothing special about it.

Except non-human living things are obsessed with it.

Remember the bird? He liked our window so much that he survived a cold and windy winter knocking on our window. Finally after about a year he stopped knocking. I was just beginning to enjoy the quiet again.

But this season? It's worse. About twice a week I find some sort of Flying Insect With Stinger (bee, hornet, yellow jacket, not sure cuz quite frankly I don't inspect him much after I squish him to death) buzzing around the window. And it's worse because he's on the INSIDE of the window.

At first I thought maybe he was getting in somehow via the screen. We've been opening the windows a lot to let some fresh air in, now that it's not sweltering outside. So I stopped opening the windows. And somehow once or twice a week I mange to find/hear another Flying Insect With Stinger buzzing at the window trying to escape through it.

Really. What is it with this window and non-human living things?!?

Back to Reality

2008-10-09T10:17:00.000-04:00

While hubby and my weekend getaway was more than awesome, Adam's weekend was not.

My parents came down to see the new niece and had no problems watching Adam Saturday night. Adam seemed to be OK with it too - he would still be spending Saturday and Sunday at my sisters house and playing video games with my brother-in-law, so he was all set.

Then Sunday morning my Mom left a message on my cell phone. Adam was refusing to take his meds. He has not.once ever tried this. By the time I had called her back he had taken them, but I also learned that he was grounded from video games for the day from my Dad. Because he:
-wouldn't brush his teeth
-feed his lizard
-instead of going to bed went into my room and watched TV for an hour
-wouldn't wear sneakers with laces in them
-talking back
Basically treated them like crap.

My Mom who felt he was acting this way because we weren't there was trying to convince my Dad to let him have video games so they could enjoy the day with him and have him lose video games Monday (when I had him). I told my Mom no, he lost them for the day and to tell Adam to be lucky it's only for 1 day. We've been having 'attitude' problems with him brewing for a week or so, so I doubted it was ALL because we went away.

So, we all get reunited and he just has a smug look on his face while being talked to by me. And his attitude doesn't improve during the day. I told him we could keep going away and having my parents stay with him until he listens to them. That got the smug look wiped off his face.

But, the attitude remained high all day. It remained all of Monday at which point he lost all screen time. Then it remained all of Tuesday at which point he lost everything. No screen time. No playing with his toys. No playing with his friends. He also had to respond to any request by me with a "Thanks Mom, I'd love to do 'x'. You're the best!" (hey - you gotta put humor in at desperate times!)

One would think this would be motivation to improve one's attitude. To get stuff back.

Nope. The attitude continues. The arguing continues. The stalling continues. We're not going to even talk about the battles to get homework done.

I think 5th grade is going to be a very long year. I'm really, really, really not looking forward to the teen years.

Going Away, or not, or maybe - Part 2

2008-10-08T15:16:00.001-04:00

Oh, right. I left you with that cliffhanger last week.
We went. And it was Absolutely.Amazing!

Way, way back, like, as in last year, I wrote this post for The Parent Bloggers Network. And I won a purple package from Excitations!

Excitations is this really neat concept where you can buy experiences in different regions of the country. And all sorts of experiences too.

Because I'm really picky and also a big fan of wine (which wasn't in the purple package, but was in the green and orange package, and the green and orange package value equaled the purple package value) I asked the nice folks at Excitation if I could trade a purple for a green and orange. No problem!!

So we did. For our orange package we chose a picnic at the winery. And then I got brave. I decided this would be just hubby and I -a night away from Adam - for the first time. We'd get a hotel room. We'd relax. We'd talk about stuff like we used to without being interrupted by Adam. We'd have fun.

With a minor glitch, we were on our way last Saturday to Pearmund Cellars. Nestled away in (what I consider) country, but only 45 minutes outside Washington the drive was scenic, especially this time of year.

After tasting their classic wines, we got to pick a bottle to take with us on our picnic. We were given a choice of sitting out on the terrace, or finding a spot on the grounds. We choose the terrace. Overlooking the vineyards are small tables under a trellis. This weekend there was some guy with his guitar singing songs. Our table was elegantly set with tablecloths, flowers and settings. For our first course we were served cheese, fruit and sausage. The main course was turkey salad, croissants and macaroni salad. Dessert was a scrumptious cheesecake with cherries on top and an eclair. Midway through our meal Mr. Pearmund came by to chat.

So, for three hours we sat, ate and talked while enjoying the music and scenery on one of the most gorgeous days of the season. It was amazing.

Afterwards we drove out to Winchester for the night.

On the way home Sunday morning we were already making plans for our next adventure without Adam. I can't believe I waited so long to do this!

Huge thanks to Excitations and Pearmund Cellars for a very enjoyable weekend! We'll be spending the other half of our Exciations experience at Pearmund Cellars too!

Going Away, or not, or maybe?

2008-10-02T21:35:00.001-04:00

I've got another post up over at DC Metro Moms.

Update: my new niece is doing wonderful as is Mom, Dad and Big Sis. It's been a FUN but busy week helping to take care of the Big Sis and help out my sis too. Folks are coming down tomorrow, so Hubby and my weekend getaway is now a maybe. Since I had already cancelled our plans I have to see if I can reschedule them. And if so - we're OFF!!!!

Where I get to have my opinion on politics, because in this country I can Part V

2008-09-26T08:50:00.000-04:00

Opinion time again!

McCain has suspended his campaigning so that he could head to DC to work on the economic crisis (although fundamentally our economy is strong he insists). Let's pretend to ignore the fact it took him quite a while to get there and his ads have not stopped running nor have his campaign offices closed. (I'm personally kinda interested in knowing what his definition of suspended is).

Some thoughts by late night shows on this:

As reported by Dave Letterman

As reported by Jon Stewart

As reported by Steve Colbert

Tonight is supposed to be the Presidential Debate. I consider the debate kinda like an interview. I don't get to ask the questions, but I do get to see how the candidates answer more on the spot (vs. reading tele-prompters) together. McCain isn't so sure he can attend tonight.

Would you hire someone who didn't show for an interview, because he was stopping his interview process because something came up on DC and he needs to race back, but yet, it takes him a day to get there?

Would you hire someone who rushes back to his office to work on economics, hence causing tons of money to be wasted on the interview you aren't going to show up for?

Would you hire someone who leaves you on the edge of your chair waiting to see if he is going to grace you with his presence for an interview?

And, because I wouldn't want to give all the attention on this post to McCain, here's some attention for Obama courtesy of Sarah Silverman and The Great Shlep.

Life Moments With A Child On The Spectrum #7

2008-09-24T08:50:00.000-04:00

In this pencil sharpener one would find not pencil shavings, but eraser shavings. To add to the collection of other eraser stuff started earlier this month by Adam. This collection also proudly collected during school. Stay tuned to see in what other forms an eraser can be collected. Because I am definitely sensing a new line of collections here.

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

2008-09-23T09:30:00.001-04:00

This past month I've been in a tunnel. It's been dark, as tunnel's tend to be. And there was a light at the end. But until now, I wasn't sure if it was a train or the sun. I think (keep fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all that other superstitious stuff) it's safe to say it's the sun again.

School started for Adam. Which means transitions for Adam. Which means stress for Adam.

First week - typically known as the honeymoon period. He loved it. Came home happy. Likes his new teacher. Enjoyed the afternoons playing outside. Honeymoon period - I should have known better.

Second week - honeymoon period over. Completely. Stomach aches in the morning. Crying in the afternoons. Arguing to do homework. Complaining about the unfairness of playground rules. Tantrums for entirely too long. Upset with his friends when they came over to play because they.moved.his.toys.

Third week - same as second week only crying after school increased. On Wednesday he was adamant that he could not go to school due to a stomach ache. I told him to eat his breakfast anyway and he could go late (hoping food would help the nervous stomach I was assuming it was). No such luck. He was adamant he was sick. Told him there would be no screentime until 2:45 (time that school is over). He agreed with no arguing (maybe he really was sick?). We spent the day talking, reading and playing games. I emailed his teacher who gave a positive report that he appears happy, plays with other kids during recess and gets along just fine during group work. That night he was told he was going to school the next day. No crying that afternoon or the next. And no arguing to get homework done.

Fourth week - the sun comes out. No more stomach aches before school. No more crying after school.

I've got Adam back and we're out of the tunnel. Going back to school is never easy for kids. But it still breaks my heart watching how stressful the change in routine is for Adam. No, I can't protect him from everything. Nor do I want to. That wouldn't be teaching him what he needs to be successful as an adult. But it's still heartbreaking while we're in those tunnels.

Haiku Friday

2008-09-19T10:25:00.000-04:00

Insomnia Part III

Last night I slept all night long

Cycle is broken?

To play along, click here!

Life Moments With A Child On The Spectrum #6

2008-09-17T08:32:00.001-04:00

New kind of TicTacs? Nope. This is what Adam had in his hand when I picked him up from school the other day. Those pink things in the TicTac container would be bits of an eraser he cut up during class. (Oh, and he was so very excited about this too)

In the past he has collected pencil tips in small containers. Looks like this year he will be expanding his collections to include the other end of pencils also.

Where I get to have my opinion on politics, because in this country I can Part IV

2008-09-16T19:22:00.000-04:00

Yea, I'm back with another opinion. Just can't help not commenting lately!

So, Larry King had a chat with Meghan McCain (John's daughter). Seems she wrote a book about her Daddy. And while interviewing her, Larry asked her what she likes about Sarah:

First of all, she's really chill. She's really nice, really friendly. She's really up on pop culture, which I always respect. She's very smart. She doesn't act entitled, which unfortunately sometimes you get with some politicians. She's just like your average girl, like just a mom. But she's very, very shrewd, very smart. I've heard her talking about issues.

Umm. Gosh. Where to even begin.

Let's start with 'she's really chill.... really friendly'. I don't want my VP to be really chill and friendly. I want them to be knowledgeable and show leadership.

'She's up on pop culture' - that's nice. I'd kinda hope so with 5 kids, but not necessarily a requirement for VP

'She's just like your average girl, like just a mom.'
SHE IS. SHE IS A MOM. I'd like to think you'd say the same about your Dad. That he's like a Dad. But we're not talking about their parenting here! We're talking about the future leaders of our country!

and the clincher: 'just like a mom. But she's .... very smart.'
Wow. Did.she.really.say.that? Like a Mom, but smart. If she were my daughter she would be SO grounded right now.

So, us Mom's aren't smart? We can't be both? Well, at least I guess it's OK for Mom's to be really chill then.

But seriously - I'll be posting some non-political stuff soon. Real soon. Really.